How to Not Confess Properly for Gun Dummies
by Delusion Dreamer - Iota
Summary: Thinking about confessing? Hoping they don't say no? You also happen to like guns? Then this book might be a fit for you! Just get this Gamindustrian love advice masterpiece and you'll be ready to gun for their heart in no time! Huh? Tips on confessing? As if! Rather, this work will guide you through the many ways you might shoot yourself in the foot! Ready for a shootout?
1. Fuss over the bullet, mess up the shot

**Surprise, everybody! I bet y'all thought you'd seen the last of me!**

 **Well, I'm still here, and I'm still writing, believe it or not.**

 **While it might seem like I abandoned Hyperdemise, the truth is that I'm actually making a timeline until the very last chapter, pretty much bringing the chances of completing it to a whopping hundred percent. Hell, I might even be able to update weekly if I have a script with me.**

 **However, there's a little bit of an issue with that.**

 **Basically, _I'm bored._**

 **Thus, I'm writing this thing here!**

 **In truth, I just wanted a chance to write Uni after her considerable loss of respect for Noire in VII, you see? Then again, I guess my reasons don't really matter to the readers, huh?**

 **Well, I hope y'all enjoy it! And if you do, reviews are appreciated afterwards!**

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 **Disclaimer: ... Just how necessary is this, really?**

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 **•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

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 **1) Fuss over the bullet, mess up the shot.**

The hour of truth is nigh. It's a situation that's happened so many times before, but that doesn't make it any harder. A task like this is requires courage, audacity, more courage, boldness, even more courage, much nerve, and Uni just realized these are all just different ways to say "courage."

Of course, this sort of blunder is unsurprising. After all, she's nervous.

No, maybe that's not the right wording; rather than simply nervous, Uni is very, very, _very_ nervous. Incredibly nervous. _Astonishingly_ nervous.

So nervous, in fact, that the Candidate feels like she would be able to shoot at a giant dogoo three meters away with a freaking _shotgun,_ and its pellets would miss their target completely, hit several rocks, and come back right to her face alongside all the small pebbles dislodged by the impact.

Just for the record, that means she's _really_ nervous.

Then again, how could she not be? Here she is, lying on the large bed in her dark bedroom, clad in the fancy thin black dress that she calls her nightwear, and staring intently at the message displayed on her black smartphone. It looks right back at her, just waiting for a command to head off towards its target without fail!

The words before her don't form just any text, though; they're much more than that.

 _They're a confession._

And just the thought alone reddens the girl's cheeks.

After all these years of empty hope, of waiting for her beloved—and how that word alone makes her feel giddy—to notice her affections, of Uni trying to make her feelings as obvious as possible despite her own embarrassment, the ravenette is _finally_ about to take matters into her own hands and be as blunt as Blanc's giant hammer.

This is the day- er, night she'll confess to Nepgear!

The fact that such an important action will be done by message is irrelevant. It also definitely isn't because Uni hasn't built up the courage to do it in person.

With that in mind, fighting the strong urge to just give up and call this off, the girl's scarlet eyes wander over the long message once more. It's cheesy, old-fashioned and has about thirty-one different compliments before finally getting to the point, all the while replacing every single instance of Nepgear's name with words like 'dear' for massive damage, both to the girl in question and to its embarrassed writer herself.

All that is left is to send it, Uni realizes, gulping in nervousness.

"..."

Well, maybe she should revise the confession another time...

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 ***One hour later***

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The raven-haired girl propped against the wall brings a hand to her chin as she thinks, her feet shuffling around in an attempt to adjust the white sheets over them.

What would be a romantic way to talk about strawberries...?

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 ***Yet another hour later***

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"Now..." Uni begins as she turns to her side, feeling the cold of the floor beneath as she continues to stare at the message. "What rhymes with 'amethyst'?"

As the gears in her brain begin to turn, the Candidate brings yet another cookie to her mouth.

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 ***One more hour later***

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Uni squeals _hard_ into her pillow as yet another fantasy plays out in her mind, hugging the fluffy object as strongly as possible.

Suddenly, she stops.

Then, she blinks.

"The heck am I doing...?"

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 ***By this point, it's pretty much the next day***

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"Say, do you think people value those fancy, traditional words nowadays?" Uni asks as she leans back on the black chair, phone in hands as she writes away.

"It depends, honestly," Kei answers without even looking from across the office's desk, organizing several papers at once and occasionally signing with the pen in her grasp. "These kinds of terms are anything but optimal when you wish to create an approachable aura, so to speak, but they certainly leave a strong impression."

"Is that so..." A puzzled look falls upon Uni's face as she thinks. This may be a bit trickier than she expected...

"When in doubt, just aim for honesty," K-Sha adds with a smile as she walked in with a stack of papers in hands, placing them on the desk with a huff. "Some things are hit-or-miss, but honesty always works, right?"

"You may have a point..." Uni mumbles to herself before resuming her work on the phone, leaving only the noises of shuffling papers and pens in use sounding through the office.

...

...

...

"By the way," Kei eventually begins, raising an eyebrow, "what are you so focused on writing?"

Uni freezes.

"... Nothing important."

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 ***Shouldn't she be asleep by now?***

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The Candidate lets out a long, comfortable sigh after downing an entire glass of milk at once, placing the cartoon back in the fridge before heading to the sink.

When it comes to a night drink, this is the best, isn't it? Now, if only she could find out where Noire hid all that chocolate milk she thought Uni hadn't seen her buy...

... Maybe in the cosplay room?

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 ***I mean, seriously, it's a weekday!***

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Uni lets out another sigh as she stares at the computer's screen, her tired eyes struggling to stay open. Yet another fruitless Goggle search is displayed before her, just like the last twenty ones.

What's up with this?! She just can't seem to find anything good online, just the most cliché compliments ever!

Then again, maybe Uni simply doesn't know what to search for in the first place.

"... Maybe if I check on a book or two instead...?"

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 ***Noire wouldn't approve of this sort of attitude...***

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"And... done!" Uni mumbles weakly as she finally finishes her flawless confession, now about three times bigger than before. Reading through it for the last time, a victorious smile graces the ravenette's lips as she falls back on her bed.

This is it. Just one more step.

Without any further hesitation, as her tiredness grows by the second, the Candidate's finger touches the 'send' button. Just a moment later the message disappears from the screen, replaced by a blurry notice, no doubt meaning that the transfer was a success.

The biggest of sighs leaves Uni's lips as she lets her arm — and the phone alongside it — fall to her side . No turning back now, she muses to herself, all that's left is for her to sleep through night and wait for an answer.

Deciding to do just that, the Lastationite Candidate allows her head to turn to the right, her cheek touching the mattress as scarlet eyes begin to close. The last image they see before is that of the phone's bright screen, still proclaiming her victory.

And, for the first time, she manages to read it.

 _ **Your message has been successfully sent to Noire (U)!**_

And so, Uni closes her eyes, allowing darkness to take her over as she basks in the happiness of victory.

...

...

...

 _'Now wait just a goddamn minute here.'_

Scarlet eyes snap open, still facing the phone.

The message is still there, glowing brightly all over Uni's face, each word far beyond clear to the girl.

So, she stares.

And stares.

Then blinks.

Only to stare again afterwards.

And then-

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All things considered, Noire hasn't been having a great day at all—nor a great night, for that matter.

It would be a lie to say that she's not used to doing lots of paperwork, but as she sits behind her fancy desk, signing documents far after midnight in her usual ridiculously fast pace, Noire can say without a doubt that _this is too much._

It's not that unusual for an event or two to happen which results on a bit more of paperwork, true, but for _sixty-three_ troublesome events to be triggered in the same day is just _beyond stupid_. The last time Noire was in this sort of situation was years ago, _when ASIC was still a thing_!

The ravenette lets out a huff at the mere thought. To think that she swallowed her pride in order to call Kei for help, and it still wasn't enough! At this point, just about _anything_ idiotic could happen and she wouldn't be surprised in the slightest—

 ** _'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'_**

"Kgh?!" Noire instinctively drops her pen and covers her ears as a loud, _earth-shattering_ scream just goes off in her own freaking _mind._ As the girl grits her teeth, closing her eyes to try and ignore just how utterly dazed she feels, the hellish sound continues, not even _daring_ to become bearable for a single second.

Then, after what feels like an eternity... it stops, leaving the CPU taking ragged breaths in the silence of her own office.

It takes five minutes for Noire to recompose herself, two more to accept that, yes, she did, in fact, hide under her desk at some point, and one more to actually bring herself to get out of there.

And, if one were to ask about what happened next, the ravenette would most certainly explain that she decided against resuming her paperwork, and instead calmly strolled to her room in order to rest after what was obviously a nasty hallucination caused by exhaustion.

The CPU wouldn't mention that her trembling hand was holding onto her rapier as she walked through the hallways, of course. Neither that she "calmly strolled" approximately five times the speed of what a sane person would call a stroll. And Noire would never, _ever_ admit to sleeping with the lights on that night, hugging her fluffy and comforting dolphin plushie as if her life depended on it.

... She'd also never admit to having said plushie, but that's another story entirely.


	2. Snipe from afar, forget wind and gravity

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

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 **2) Snipe from afar, forget wind and gravity.**

Uni can't help but let out a sigh of relief as she puts down her phone, falling unceremoniously on her bed right after.

She did it. She managed to invite Nepgear to come hang out tomorrow. The situation isn't optimal, and Nepgear will only come here close to noon, but the ravenette did it nonetheless.

 _And she only stuttered thrice!_

At that thought, the Lastationite Candidate can't help but smile. It's pretty annoying how she always stutters every single time an ulterior motive is involved, but only doing so three times in the whole conversation is an amazing feat nonetheless.

Still, now's not the time to be thinking about that sort of thing, is it?

After all, if she were to spend this Saturday just dilly-dallying like Noire does sometimes — and she's still not sure where the amazing CPU who happily worked 24/7 went — weeks of training, preparation and dealing with her workload in advance for some free time would be for naught!

Uni's smile only widens as the girl raises from her bed, walking up to the sleek, dark sniper hanging on her wall and taking hold of it.

She already asked Steamax for some help, but it wouldn't be befitting of a CPU to let her allies do everything, would it?

As the girl brings the weapon close to her, checking for anything which might cause problems, a big grin overtakes her features.

 _Time for a little hunt._

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"Careful... Careful..."

With as much care as possible, the Lastationite Candidate slightly adjusts the scope as she lies on the edge of a rocky cliff in Virtua, the target clear in her sight.

In the forest beneath, a single eggplant warrior is riding on his horsebird without a care in the world, no doubt seeking his next prey in order to put the rudimentary spear in its grasp to use.

Neither has any idea of the fate that awaits them.

And so, Uni takes the shot, a loud crack resounding through the area as the golden energy sails forward at incredible speeds.

A third of a second later, the horsebird leans down to eat some grass, letting the mana bullet sail past and hit ground harmlessly.

Uni freezes as both monsters turn their sights towards her, the determined expression on her face completely paralyzed.

"..."

Just as expected, the horsebird starts flapping its wings harder than usual, obviously planning on flying up to the ravenette in order to share his and his rider's thoughts on her most recent activities.

"..."

Such a line of thought doesn't seem to be unique, however, as entire _hordes_ of horsebirds and their riders appear from the forest just a moment later, every single monster focusing on the ravenette as they ascend closer and closer to her.

"... Ah."

As the brave CPU Candidate proceeds to tactically retreat as fast as possible, elegantly scrambling to her feet and tripping approximately four times before regaining some semblance of balance, she realizes something quite simple.

Maybe, _just maybe_ , she should have used a suppressor.

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Uni lets out a huff as she thrusts her knife into the weakened boxbird, letting the monster fall on the grassy ground of Leanbox's meadow unmoving. As it begins to fade into particles of light, however, the ravenette crouches down and reaches out to it, touching its body and willing it to dematerialize into her hammerspace with a bright yet fast flash.

Boxbird meat might not be particularly tasty, but if one uses it correctly-

 ***Bop***

"Ow!" Uni winces as something mildly sharp pokes the back of her head. Without hesitation, she turns around to face her attacker. "What's the deal, you..." The Lastationite Candidate trails off, however, once she realizes exactly what's behind her.

Namely, an entire flock of boxbirds, some of which have crowns, all of which are staring angrily at her.

"..."

The ravenette's jaw drops.

The boxbird leading all of them pecks her forehead.

"..."

Uni blinks.

The entire flock _lunges_.

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 ***CRASH*** "Ah!" ***CRASH*** "Argh!" ***CRACK*** "Owww..."

Uni groans as she slowly opens her eyes.

The first thing she notices are the several Candidate-shaped holes on the cave's ice-covered walls in front of her.

Yes, _walls_.

Because she went through more than one.

"Ugh..."

That certainly explains the back pain.

The second thing which catches her attention is how she seems to be stuck in either the fifth or sixth wall her body attempted to pierce, a small _crater_ surrounding her.

"What... the hell..." the girl mumbles, attempting to squirm her way out of the wall-

"Ah!" ***Pomf***

-only to fall facefirst on the snow beneath.

 _'At least... it's somewhat fluffy...'_

Uni immediately starts pulling herself off the ground, letting out a few coughs as she does so. Thank God there wasn't anyone here to see this... She'd just about die of embarrassment.

Managing to raise to her feet with some effort, the girl then proceeds to scan her snowy surroundings. Now, where did her heavy pistol end up this time? Seriously, she already lost _two_ just today.

 ***GROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR***

... And this makes the third, Uni muses as her feet carry her away as fast as possible, _because_ _there's no way in hell_ _she's stopping to look for it right now._

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Uni flies down just in time to dodge the gigantic blue tail that attempts to deliver the biggest slap she'd ever have received, the wet, slimy skin just barely managing to touch her white hair. With her railgun, the Candidate takes aim at at the massive serpent beneath, letting out several orbs of energy towards it, only for the monster to dive right back into the safety of the sea.

"Come back here, you big dragon wannabe...!" Uni manages to let out despite her ragged breaths. "I swear to the True Goddess, once I get you, I'm simmering you and throwing a party at the docks- **Brbrbrbrbrbr**?!"

At first, the white-haired girl has no idea of what's going on as every single one of her senses is thrown in disarray. However, as her vision returns after a few moments, with her breathing even more frantic than before, the newly drenched CPU finds herself with a simple question in her mind.

"Did that thing... spit at me...?" Uni asks out loud in a confused, almost dazed voice. "Did it freaking _spit_ _at_ _me_?!"

Just on cue, as if to mock the girl even further, yet another large jet of water comes, sailing past just centimeters away from the her face and hitting her right twintail head-on.

"..." As her wet hair swings back and forth like a weakening pendulum, the Lastationite Candidate just floats there, taking in short breaths and staring blankly at the sea where the colossal monster is hiding.

And then, she takes a single deep breath.

"Alright," Uni calmly begins, "to hell with simmering, I'm going to _fry_ your damn oversized eel meat- ***SLAP*** "

Too bad she didn't see the tail coming yet again.

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As the ravenette backs away from the kitchen's counter, eyeing her handiwork, the chuckle which escapes her lips couldn't possibly sound prouder.

And, really, what else would it sound like? After all, before Uni is the fruit of her excruciating labor!

Well, also Steamax's, but that's just a detail.

Point is, right here is the key to her happy ending! With this, there's no doubt that Nepgear won't be able to think about anything other than the Lastationite Candidate for hours, perhaps even _days_! And that's more than enough for Uni to capture her heart once and for all!

That simple thought is enough to bring a stupid grin to the ravenette's face. She'll finally be able to do it, and it's all because of her creation!

And what sort of creation is it, you may ask?

Why, it's obviously the _steaming, delicious noodles_ inside the white bowl on the counter! Made with all of the best spices in Gamindustri, alongside all sorts of rare meat which only a suicidal maniac would ever think of collecting, and by the hands of a CPU who spent _weeks_ researching how to bring this otherwise simple dish to its ultimate level, just the soup alone is enough to send even the most stoic of warriors straight through cloud nine and into a heaven of food-induced stupidity!

And it'll do _just that_ to Nepgear.

Oh, but _of course_ that's not all.

With a hurry brought upon her by eagerness alone, the Candidate takes out a small note from her hammerspace, placing it on the lone white plate over the counter. Following that, she takes hold of the bowl and puts it over said plate, effectively hiding the piece of paper.

 _Now_ everything is ready, Uni muses with a wide smile.

First Nepgear will eat, then she'll see the note, afterwards they'll start going out, and a couple years later they'll get married, after which they'll eventually retire and raise the next CPUs of Planeptune and Lastation together-

"Ah."

It's about then that Uni stops herself, her cheeks colored by pure scarlet.

She _might_ be getting a little bit ahead of herself here.

Shaking her head in an attempt to regain her focus, the Candidate eyes the clock on the wall. It's almost 11 A.M., which means Nepgear should be here any moment now!

And _then_ Uni can worry about which one of them will be the mama!

"Um, what are you doing there?"

"?!"

At the sudden voice, Uni almost jumps out of her skin, spinning around to see the lilac-haired object of her affections by the kitchen's doorway, wearing the same white dress as always.

"Ah!" Nepgear, for her part, yelps in alarm at the sudden movement, only to regain a good part of her composure a moment later. "Oh, goodness, I startled you, didn't I? I'm so sorry!"

"Uh..." The ravenette just blinks at that, still reeling a bit from the scare. "I-It's alright. I mean, I'm just... making something for lunch," she manages to say, hopefully non-awkwardly.

"Really?" At that, the lilac-haired girl seems to sniff something. "Goodness, it does smell good here."

"I-Is that so...?" Uni replies the first thing that comes to mind, glancing behind her at the bowl on the counter. This is it, she realizes. All she needs to do is make the offer. "S-So, Nepgear, w-why don't you take a bite too? I-I'm sure there's enough for the b-both of us."

At first, the Planeptunian Candidate seems taken aback by the offer, her eyes widening ever so slightly. She calms down mere moments later, however, her features regaining their usual lack of urgency. And then, when her lips finally open after an eternal instant to deliver an answer, the ravenette lets her hopes soar-

"I'm sorry, Uni," Nepgear speaks with an apologetic smile, grinding Uni's heart into gunpowder and using it to fire a flintlock pistol right where the organ once was. "I already ate lunch back home. I couldn't possibly have you bother with feeding me when you've already been kind enough to invite me here!"

"..."

Just like that, Uni feels the massive urge scream as loud as possible.

"Ah, I see," is what she responds instead, her voice almost robotic in tone as she stares at the other girl.

"Um..." At that, Nepgear shoots her a bashful smile. "I guess I'll just go wait in your room, then. I hope you enjoy your lunch!"

"Right, I'll be there soon," the ravenette replies in a flat tone as the love of her life walks off.

And that leaves Uni and her noodles alone in the kitchen.

"..."

Right. Nepgear already had lunch. Of course Nepgear already had lunch. It was obvious. What time does Uni think it is? Of course Nepgear already had lunch. It's 11 AM, why wouldn't Nepgear have had lunch before going out? Nepgear went to a friend's home near noon, of course she already had lunch.

The fresh ingredients she gathered yesterday are all gone.

And Nepgear already had lunch.

"..."

In a movement that is almost painfully slow, Uni turns around to face the noodles.

This was going to be Nepgear's lunch. Now it's hers, however.

Because Nepgear already had lunch.

"..."

Without a second thought, the ravenette summons the pair of hachi she was supposed to hand to Nepgear and splits them apart. Carefully, she holds them in her right hand and proceeds to bring a small portion of the noodles to her mouth.

"..."

... It tastes good.

That doesn't make her feel better at all.

"..."

Then again, now that she thinks about it...

Confessing like this would have been pretty embarrassing, wouldn't it?


	3. Think about dinner during a gunfight

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

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 **3) Think about dinner during a gunfight.**

The ravenette eyes the large bush suspiciously, pointing her rifle at it for several long seconds as if waiting for something to jump right out. When nothing happens instead, she moves her aim to the green leaves above, blocking most of the afternoon's sun, before settling for simply looking towards all directions with her scarlet eyes.

"I think we're clear," Uni finally comments as she turns towards the other girl with a smile, the grass beneath cracking softly at the movement. "At least for now, no slime is jumping at us."

"Oh, thank goodness..." Nepgear lets out a long sigh of relief, returning the smile as she lets her laser sword fall to her side. "I didn't expect to run into so many dogoos at once. You really saved me there, Uni."

"I-I didn't do much," the ravenette replies bashfully, hoping that her face isn't too red right now. "I mean, we're doing quests, so I just fought like always."

"Even so, that was a big help," the lilac-haired girl insists, and then...

" _I'm glad you're here with me, Uni,_ " Nepgear says with an even bigger, more _beautiful_ smile than before, and, for a second, the Lastationite Candidate swears everything in the immediate area is sparkling.

Her heart also _might_ have skipped a couple beats.

"I-I-It was n-n-nothing, really!" the completely red-faced ravenette miraculously manages to speak, her voice somewhere between hasty and a complete stuttering mess. "I-I just had some free time, that's all! Really!"

"Yeah, but knowing that you decided to spend your free time with me..." the lilac-haired girl begins, and, possibly defying every single law of the universe, it's like her smile grows even _brighter_. " _That makes me very happy, Uni._ "

"..." Just like that, a sound not unlike a very hard squeal attempts to force its way out of the blushing wide-eyed girl's mouth"... G-Good to know..."

 _She almost went to heaven right there._

"In any case, we can't start slacking off now, Uni!" Possibly the cutest girl in the world declares as she starts walking away, apparently not noticing anything weird with the ravenette. "Next, we need to beat some flower monsters!"

The Lastationite Candidate can only nod like an idiot before following Nepgear as if a lost puppy.

And just a moment later, Uni shakes her head, forcing her blush to go away.

What the hell is she doing?! The very reason she came here this weekend was to finally confess, _not_ blush and stutter like a schoolgirl in love every time the lilac-haired girl says something to her!

... Even though that's exactly what she usually does, Uni muses with a frown.

Gulping, the ravenette directs her eyes towards the girl walking in front of her, feeling a drop of sweat descend her cheek. All sorts of confessions failed by now, so perhaps she should simply go back to the basics: they'll do some quests together, feel comfortable around each other and, when the sunset comes, Uni will finally say _everything_ she's been keeping in for years now!

Well, maybe not _everything_ , the ravenette thinks as a light pink makes its way to her cheeks. The last thing she wants is to tell Nepgear something embarrassing enough to make Iris Heart blush and look away.

Slowly, her gaze on the Planeptunian Candidate descends just a little bit, stopping for a moment before instantly raising again.

Yep. Not saying everything.

Just the most important things.

Uni takes a long breath as her mind goes back to the game. Just walking along Nepgear and shooting things obviously isn't enough; she needs to make some nice interactions too, one way or another. In that case, praising something about lilac-haired girl would help, right?

At that thought, the ravenette focuses on the other girl, looking for anything she can talk about. Maybe her luscious, lilac hair that is more beautiful than most things Uni's ever seen? Perhaps the outright hypnotic way she subconsciously sways her hips she walks? Could it also be about how she has the grace and body of a bonafide goddess?

It's about then that the self-conscious part of ther ravenette's mind catches up with her thoughts, and it's a miracle how her face doesn't explode from the heat.

Nope. Uni can't say that.

 _She can't say any of that at all._

"There they are!" Uni hears the most adorable girl ever shout, letting her subconscious take over as her rifle is raised.

Well, what else can the Lastationite Candidate do? Ask to hold hands?

"..."

As her blush darkens, the girl immediatelly takes the idea, rips it to pieces and burns the scraps left with a flamethrower.

She'd die if Nepgear said 'no.'

 _She'd also die if Nepgear said 'yes.'_

"Just a few monsters left!" Her own personal goddess points out as the battle continues.

Maybe this plan will be trickier than the others, Uni muses as she continues to shoot and dodge. If there's one thing she's completely horrible at, it's creating a good atmosphere.

Incidentally, this confession just so happens to hinge completely on that.

 _'Good job, Uni. You sure thought this through,'_ she thinks to herself, clicking her tongue. What next? She'll plan a confession that requires as much physical contact as possible, despite nearly blowing up at the mere thought of a hug?

... Wait. As much physical contact as possible...

It's then that the ravenette nearly has a nuclear meltdown.

 _'No, bad Uni! Really bad Uni!'_ she mentally screams to herself over and over at her massive blunder.

Boy, is it just her or is it suddenly hot in here?

Shaking her head to try and clear herself of those dangerous thoughts, the Lastationite Candidate does her damnedest to focus on her plan, and _not_ on the reason for her cheeks to be pure scarlet. Unlikely or not, even a 1% chance of success is enough for her to at least try instead of giving up.

No, it's _not_ desperation, she feels the need to tell herself. It's just some plain, old _determination_.

And so, Uni puts her mind to work.

The amount of contact she can have with Nepgear without becoming a mess is very limited, that much is beyond obvious. Furthermore, they're already best friends, so it's not like this game is starting with zero points for the ravenette. In that case...

... Wait.

Just then, Uni pauses as a realization comes.

If she's not starting with zero points with the lilac-haired girl, doesn't that mean that they already have a relatively _good_ mood going on here?

Doesn't that mean that her chances of success are _already_ way above 1% even without any meaningful interaction?

"T-There's a big one coming here! Get ready, Uni!" her lover-to-be warns her, to which the ravenette feels her lips move, no doubt to say some sort of generic reponse.

That's right. She was just overthinking it! Rather than trying to be some sort of master at romance, Uni should just do her best to make sure the atmosphere remains good enough until the day is over! There's no need for the mood meter to reach 'great,' all she needs to do is to definitely keep it away from the dreaded 'horrible' level!

And, when the romantic sunset comes to passively boost her chances, then maybe, just maybe...

At that thought, a big smile finds its way to Uni's lips, the girl already feeling a bit giddy. Seriously, how could she not see this before? The path to her goal is way simpler than the ravenette thought!

Rather than some sort of hellishly difficult S-Rank quest, this is just your usual escort mission! As long as nothing goes wrong and the both of them remain in a good mood until the end of the day, _anything is possible_!

With that in mind, Uni allows her focus to return to the real world, aiming her rifle at the next enemy in her way to a fulfilled love life...

... And then she freezes, her jaw going slack.

In front of her, swaying from one side to the other without a care in the world, is a big dogoo. As in, a _really_ big dogoo, probably the size of an entire house.

That's not what catches the ravenette's attention, however.

Instead, that accomplishment goes to the familiar pair of legs clad in pink-and-white stripped thigh-highs sticking out of its gooey mouth, desperately kicking at nothing in an attempt to break free.

"Ah, that's Nepgear," the Lastationite Candidate notes in a flat tone, calmly observing the scene before her.

As if on cue, the giant dogoo turns around and starts hopping away, taking the ravenette's future wife along with it.

"Bye, Nepgear," Uni says in the very same robotic voice, watching the blue slime disappear into the depths of the forest.

...

...

...

It's about three seconds later that Uni's mind starts running again.

Just like she does, that is.

"NEEEEPGEEEEEEAAAAAARRR!"


	4. Go hunt game, grab explosive rounds

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

* * *

 **4) Go hunt game, grab explosive rounds.**

In the dark and cold bedroom, its windows covered and door closed shut as the air-conditioner does its job, Uni lets a smile cross her lips as she admires the being before her.

A thin, doll-like entity is right in front of the girl, its gray, metallic body completely devoid of features as it stands on its two legs, several centimeters higher than the ravenette herself.

Amidst the silence, a single chuckle sounds. This thing cost quite a bit, and Uni will have to put off buying pretty much anything for a long time, but as long as everything works out, this will definitely pay off in the end!

The plan is quite simple: impress Nepgear with the one thing she loves the most, then go on to _become_ the one she loves the most!

... By confessing, that is. _Not_ converting herself into a robot.

Uni's still not desperate enough for that.

Holding in the urge to chuckle a bit more in eagerness alone, the ravenette turns towards the wide table by her right. A book of instructions alongside all sorts of tools and materials are placed on the wood, all waiting for their chance to shine.

It wouldn't do to show Nepgear somethating as plain as this gray thing, obviously. Uni needs something to leave an _impact_.

Scarlet eyes wander over the featureless robot for a moment. Maybe she could start by a basic image change...

* * *

 **Black Sister is now doing her best. Please wait warmly.**

* * *

Letting out a huff, Uni lifts her welding mask and places the tools back on the table. With that out of the way, she eyes her handiwork.

The robot, which once had a definitely male physique, now has curves unmistakably female around its hips.

At the confirmation that her attempt was a success, the Lastationite Candidate lets a prideful smirk reach her face. She didn't do this out of some irrational dislike for beings with two different chromosomes, no; that'd just be dumb. Instead, this was done to... Um... Well, maybe change the atmosphere a bit for the eventual confession? Make the mood a bit more...

... Homosexual?

Just like that, Uni's smile falters a bit. What the hell is she trying to get here, some sort of confirmation? Is her subconscious lacking in self-confidence, that's it?

Does she even know what she's doing anymore?

It's then that the ravenette shakes her head, trying to dispel these thoughts. She literally changed a robot's gender on a whim, but that's okay; this is her confession being prepared here, following whims is part of it, right? This doesn't need some sort of reason at all.

With that out of the way, the girl proceeds to inspect the robot once more. Its curves are fine, but maybe she should do a bit more...

* * *

 **Black Sister is now adding features. Please wait at a slightly higher temperature than usual.**

* * *

A sigh of relief escapes the ravenette's lips as she leans away from the robot. It took a few tries, but she did it.

Now, the construct's metallic body is nowhere to be seen, an outer layer of a soft, skin-like white substance completely covering it. Furthermore, it now sports a considerable bust – although featureless in that detail – and even a bellybutton to complete its image!

At the sight, Uni can't help but smile. She didn't really expect to find instructions on how to do this sort of thing, but they certainly came in handy! Now, if the manual was telling the truth, the robot should feel just like a real person!

"..."

It's then that a thought crosses the girl's mind.

Slowly, her hand reaches forward, and, in a single motion...

Uni squeezes the robot's bust.

"..."

It _does_ feel real, the ravenette muses as her hand tests the artificial substance a bit more.

One second later, Uni realizes what she's doing and promptly lets go of the robot as if it was made of lava.

Coincidentally, her face certainly feels like it's made of lava.

"..."

Choosing to forget this just happened, the Lastationite Candidate proceeds to analyze the robot, doing her best not to stare specifically at the pair of notable features on its frontal torso.

It certainly is unmistakably female now, that's for sure. Still, maybe Uni could do something about its color...

* * *

 **Black Sister is now doing art. Please wait at approximately 37°C.**

* * *

Just a little bit more, and... done!

With a big smile, Uni moves away from the robot, placing the toothbrush on the table before doing he same to her dirty apron. The robot is gray no more, its artificial skin now a light, natural color much like the girl's own.

Scarlet eyes observe the newly painted being for quite a while, the ravenette carefully drawing her conclusions about the sight.

And then, she frowns.

It looks bad. Well, not _bad_ bad, but more unsettling than when the whole thing was gray.

The skin _really_ looks real. And that _really_ doesn't mesh well with having no features.

In other words, she just made the poor construct into the textbook definition of Uncanny Valley.

A big sigh escapes the girl's lips. She can't show something like this to Nepgear, at all. It'd either creep her out or just elicit no reaction, both of which would hit Uni pretty damn hard considering it'd mean she managed to make Nepgear dislike a _robot_ of all things.

 _Nepgear. Disliking. A robot._

That's like making a pudding not even Neptune can bring herself to eat!

At that thought, Uni clenches her fists.

 _She can't let that happen._

* * *

 **Black Sister is now playing mechanic. Please wait with your air-conditioner turned off during summer.**

* * *

Uni places a hand on her chin as she observes the newly made changes on the robot.

Once featureless, it now sports a mostly decorative nose made of the same substance as its skin, two of fully functional black eyes, and a pair of lips which hide the inner mouth and speakers from which the voice is supposed to come from. Needless to say, the ravenette found it weird at first how these last few parts came separated alongside the doll-like construct, but right now she can certainly understand the reason.

Most people would probably want to make a cool combat robot, but there are quite a few who'd rather make the thing look as human as possible, aren't there?

Just like Uni, for one.

Taking a step back to look at the construct in full, a wide grin comes to the Candidate's features. At this point, this is pretty much a cyborg; that's bound to impress Nepgear, isn't it?

 _Especially_ if Uni takes her time to install weapons afterwards!

The ravenette can't stop a few giggles from escaping at the thought. She might be nearly broke now, but this is _insanely_ impressive!

Now, to make the final touches!

* * *

 **Black Sister is now winging it. Please wait in front of the stove as lunch is made.**

* * *

"..."

Uni blinks.

Slowly, she takes a few steps back.

And blinks yet again.

"..."

In front of her, Nepgear, clad in her usual outfit, stares back with a blank, unending purple gaze.

Except it's _not_ Nepgear, as the ravenette is fully aware.

"... H... How did it turn out like this...?" Uni asks herself in a quiet, disbelieving voice.

A useless question if there ever was one. The one and only Lastationite Candidate knows _very damn well_ how this happened.

And, little by little, she does her best to erase the memories.

"T-There's no way I can show this to her..." Uni whispers in horror, taking yet another step back. "No way, no way, no way..."

How could she lose herself like this?! To think that she, of all people, would let her own desires get in the way of _her own freaking desires_!

 _That's just plain embarrassing!_

"..."

Staring at the Not-Nepgear she created, the ravenette grits her teeth. Obviously, not all is lost; she can just make some changes and dress it up on one of Noire's maid cosplays or something.

Still, that line of thought doesn't erase the faint feeling of utter defeat.

"N-No... I can't falter now of all times...!"

Clenching her fists, Uni takes two steps towards the second Nepgear lookalike she has ever seen. Hesitantly, her hand reaches out to it, the girl intent on taking off all that makes the construct look like the object of her affections.

Just as she grasps the hem of its outfit's skirt, however, something hits Uni.

This robot really, _really_ looks like Nepgear.

 _And she's about to undress it._

"...!"

Just like that, red _explodes_ all over the ravenette's face, her breath hitching in her throat at the mere thought.

No, no, she _can't_ freak out now. This isn't Nepgear, this is something she bought online, definitely _not_ Nepgear _at all._

Still...

Uni gulps as she looks at its face, its expression still as blank as ever.

It _really_ looks like her.

"..."

After a long moment, the blushing ravenette lets go of the dress, letting out a long breath she didn't know she was holding.

Maybe... Maybe she could do something here... Just once...

Slowly, attempting to hold in her pure, unadulterated embarrassment, Uni makes her way to the open manual on the table besides her, flipping its pages a bit until she spots something. Following that, the girl summons her phone and brings it to her reddened face, furiously typing on it for several moments.

When that is finally done, the ravenette turns towards Not-Nepgear once again.

And then, she presses something on her phone a last time.

Instantly, the robot's girly face changes, courtesy of the muscles Uni had to painstakingly install. In just a moment, an expression of pure happiness overtakes what once was blank, sporting a wide smile and a light blush for good measure.

And then, Nepgear's lips move.

"I love you Uni!"

It's a simple phrase taken out of context, recorded by a girl who would surely be called creepy should this information leak.

And yet, Uni can only stare blankly, her blush completely gone.

She touches her phone once more.

"I love you, Uni!"

And again.

"I love you, Uni!"

And again.

"I love you, Uni!"

One more time, two more times, three more times. The Candidate repeats the same action over and over until she loses count, and then she continues. Nothing matters at this point, and so she does it again, and again, and again. Time goes by, but she finds herself not caring in the slightest as her beloved's voice reaches her ears.

And eventually, a single thought crosses the ravenette's delirious mind, one she's more than happy to voice.

"Is this... Heaven...?" the girl mumbles, and despite being the one to ask the question, she feels as if she can answer it just fine-

"Uni?"

 **"?!"**

In that second, in that _accursed_ second, it's as if the ravenette's _very soul_ freezes solid, the most _horrible_ of chills descending her spine and paralyzing every single member of her body.

As slow as a dying turtle, displaying much more courage than when she faced Sin incarnate, the damned Candidate turns around to face the one who shall bring about her death, her scarlet eyes ready to see Death itself looming over her shoulder.

The elegant, wooden door is open, that much is obvious.

And on the doorway, mouth agape and eyes wide, is none other than K-Sha, as stunned as Uni herself.

"..."

"..."

This is it.

Image, gone. Credibility, torn to pieces.

Self-confidence?

Did Uni even have that in the first place?

"..."

"..."

It's then that, as if a flash of lightning, her mind returns from oblivion for a last stand.

No, no, no, she's _not_ done in yet, the ravenette thinks. This is K-Sha, _K-Sha_ , not some random maid who'll spread rumors!

Even before thinking, her lips start to move. An excuse, a plea, _anything_ works right now-

However, before a single sound exits her lips, Uni freezes. All because of a sudden, simple thing.

 _K-Sha is smiling._

It's not a mocking smile, much less a pitying smile.

 ** _She. Is. Just. Smiling._**

"I'm just here to tell you dinner will be ready in twenty minutes," the girl happily says, _definitely_ a bit too happily. "Try not to be late~"

With the cheery announcement out if the way, K-Sha then turns around, closing the door behind her before _sauntering away_ if the irregular footsteps that follow mean anything.

And that leaves the Candidate alone with Not-Nepgear, staring at the door with a mixture of shock, disbelief and just about all other emotions which lead to a heart attack.

A minute passes silently.

Two minutes go by in an instant.

Uni finally walks forward...

 ***Click***

... and proceeds to lock the door.


	5. Aim for an AT rifle, falter at the price

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

* * *

 **5) Aim for an AT Rifle, falter at the price.**

Uni focuses completely on the big screen before her, taking a deep breath as she watches carefully every single action.

Her hands hold the black controller without the slightest trembling, moving the right analog stick with an outstanding precision as her scope searches for the next target.

Aiming right at an inconspicuous bush amidst the forest, Uni takes the shot, a loud bang sounding all across the elegant living room any other would call outright 'elitist.'

Following that, as she makes her Lastationite soldier raise from the ground before sprinting off to the next spot, a single name is displayed near the bottom edge of the screen, identifying her latest victim.

The girl can't help but smile. And, as the match ends soon after, signaling her 256-person team's absolute victory, her lips morph into a dark smirk at the sight of her name above all her teammates'.

She still got it.

Victorious expression still in place, Uni sinks back on the black sofa and leans over one of its arms, looking much like a pleased queen in a display of satisfaction befitting of the Candidate of Lastation.

There's only one thing which could make this morning better.

"Uni, where are you?"

And speak of the devil.

Or rather, angel.

With a large smile on her face, the ravenette puts down the controller and raises from the sofa, making her way to the living room's entrance.

"There you are!" Nepgear's own lips curl upwards as she appears in said entrance, her beautiful purple eyes looking straight into Uni's scarlet orbs. "Sorry for being a bit late, Histoire asked me to— Ah?!"

Whatever explanation the girl had, however, is completely forgotten as Uni's palm suddenly hits the wall behind her, making the lilac-haired freeze instantly.

Perfect.

"U-Uni...?" Nepgear just about manages to mutter as she finds herself mere centimeters away from her friend "W-What are you doing...?"

Somehow, those words only encourage Uni.

"I don't know~" the ravenette coos rathen than giving a straight answer, an impish smirk finding its wy to her face. "What I do know is that K-Sha dragged Noire away, and Kei isn't coming today~" With those words, Uni raises a hand to the lilac-haired girl's face, cupping her reddening cheek and turning centimeters into millimeters.

And then, she as their faces are practically touching, the ravenette whispers a simple sentence.

" _We have the entire house to ourselves~_ "

The effect is instantaneous as all the red on Nepgear's face becomes pure scarlet, amethyst eyes widening noticeably before instinctively averting their sight. "G-Goodness... You're being so pushy..."

Still, it's a fact that she doesn't even try to push Uni away.

And, as the lilac-haired girl wraps both arms around her, pulling them even closer—

* * *

"... Ah."

"Hm?" Seated right next to Uni on the sofa, controller in hand, Nepgear turns towards her. "What's wrong?"

"Um..." At first, the ravenette doesn't respond, just blinking at her friend. Slowly, she glances at the controller in her own grasp, then at the TV, displaying a simple yet pretty party game.

And then it hits her.

 _'Ah, that's right...'_ she thinks, resisting the urge to sigh as she does so. _'She came over and we're just playing together...'_

Of course nothing else happened.

As such, Uni simply gives the most genuine fake smile at Nepgear. "I just... remembered about a sale I missed yesterday," she blatantly lies in the most casual tone possible. "Nothing I can do about it now, I guess, hahaha..."

"Is that so...?" Even though that has nothing to do with her — or with reality, for that matter — the lilac-haired girl still looks genuinely sad at her friend's — again, nonexistent — failure. "Goodness, I know exactly how that feels like..."

As Nepgear starts muttering about the pains of letting great discounts slip by, the ravenette's smile twitches, her mind doing its best to smoother all the unexpected guilt present.

 _Seriously, why is this girl just so nice?!_

"A-Anyway!" Uni suddenly speaks up, directing her eyes back to the TV. "You better get ready, because I'm not losing next time!"

Wait, did the ravenette lose a game...? Her memory says yes, but it still feels like it never happened.

... Just how out of it was she?

"Ah." Fortunately, Nepgear doesn't seem to notice her friend's sudden pensive expression as she snaps out of her musings, a smile returning just a moment later. "I'll do my best too!"

And so, they continue to waste away the Sunday.

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

Uni can't stop a smirk from surfacing as the screens proclaims her definite victory, and with that Nepgear's absolute defeat.

As expected, a disappointed sigh sounds from her side. "And here I thought I had gotten you at the end..."

"You can't just drop your guard like that," the ravenette says as she turns to her friend, a message which could easily be taken as some advice... were it not for the satisfied voice coming alongside it. "I mean, seriously, weren't you the one who showed me this game?"

The lilac-haired girl can only squirm in her spot at that, shooting a few bashful glances at Uni. "W-Well, yeah, but..."

At the sight of the embarrassed girl, a chuckle escapes the Lastationite Candidate's lips. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll improve with time. Until then, though..."

"Huh?" Nepgear's squirming suddenly stops as Uni cups her cheek, all embarrassment replaced by confusion. "Uni...?"

The ravenette simply smirks at her friend, placing her controller by her side. "What? I'm just taking my prize."

With that, the girl leans towards—

* * *

Uni blinks, finding herself leaning slightly forward.

On the screen before her, clear for all to see, is the proof of victory.

 _Nepgear's_ victory, that is.

"Goodness..." the lilac-haired girl sighs in relief, a smile gracing her lips. "You almost got me there."

"...Yeah, I did," the ravenette lets out her own sigh before straightening her back.

She did have another daydream, that is.

"..."

Forcing a smile once more, Uni glances at her friend who she most certainly never kissed before. "Well, what now?"

"Hmmm..." A pensive expression crosses Nepgear's face at that, her rosy, kissable lips twisting into a minuscule frown. "Maybe we should try one of those shooting games you have?"

"Sounds good," the ravenette replies cheerfully, but, inside, she can't find it in herself to care.

It's not like it'll help her get a kiss, after all.

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

A big breath Uni didn't even know she was holding exits her lips as the victory screen shows up.

That was... intense. Really, _really_ intense.

Next to her, Nepgear seems to hold similar thoughts as she breathes slowly, a hand over her chest as her heartbeat slowly returns to normal.

"Goodness," she breathes out, "I can't remember ever feeling so _tired_ because of a game before..."

"Yeah..." the ravenette nods, even as her situation is far better than her friend's. "In my defense, I've never experienced so many near-death experiences in a single match."

Seriously, being almost flattened by helicopters five times is already impressive, but how come they _always_ ended up circled by twenty times more enemies?!

Sure, death is a slap in the wrist, but there's only so much that can do about the adrenaline.

"Even so, I think FPSes might be a bit too much for me," Nepgear comments, bearing an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

Something about how the lilac-haired girl felt the need to apologize brings a smile to Uni's face. She really is too nice.

"Don't worry about it, we can just play something else," the ravenette suggests with a smile, glancing at her exhausted friend. "... After taking a breather, I mean."

"Oh, thank goodness." Nepgear doesn't waste time in leaning back on the sofa as if she had just ran a marathon, dropping the controller next to her without a second thought.

And Uni can only chuckle at that, redirecting her sight to the screen which just displayed all sorts of insanity. It's true that she didn't do any effort to confess today, but they had lots of fun. That's... That's okay, right?

... Right?

"..."

Just like that, a frown mars the ravenette's features.

Is it really alright to leave things like this?

Uni shoots a sideway glance at her friend, who's blissfully resting off the effevts of their match. All this time, the ravenette has been trying all sorts of things, none of which even came close to working, and most of which turned out to be embarrassing whenever she came to her senses afterwards, but... rather than trying too hard... maybe she could just... say it?

"... Hey, Nepgear?"

"Hm?" Just like that, the lilac-haired girl's turns her attention to her friend, amethyst eyes focusing on ruby as a smile graces her lips. "Yes?"

For the first few seconds, the ravenette simply stares at her crush, taking in every single detail of her cheerful yet curious expression. She can do it. Right now, all she needs to do is make her lips move, and force the right sounds to come out. It's no rocket science, all that is necessary is a few words, maybe even just three if she can't bring herself to let out more.

And then, at last...

...

She chuckles.

"Why were you using a Sniper-class with a shotgun?"

"... Eh?" At that, Nepgear blinks, staring blankly at the ravenette for several moments.

Then it clicks.

"EEEEHHHH?!"

"I mean, sure, that was pretty impressive in a way," Uni continues with the widest smile possible, doing her best not to break down laughing at her friend's blatant 'the heck did you say' face, "but I'm pretty sure that's a bit wrong, you know?"

"W-Why didn't you tell me?!" the lilac-haired girl borderline screeches, her face red beyond belief. "Goodness, and here I was wondering why I couldn't pick an assault rifle!"

At that, the ravenette's expression manages to become even _more_ smug as her smile turns into a grin.

And then she speaks.

"I thought it was funny."

The half-baked punch to the arm she gets is pretty much deserved.

"G-Geez!" Nepgear actually huffs as she picks her controller once more, pouting ever so slightly as her eyes focus on the TV. "Alright, our break is over, start another match!"

This time, Uni does laugh.

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

Carefully, the ravenette moves from cover to cover, aiming her AR turned sniper at wherever an enemy might show up. Her eyes, holding a strange calmness — or is it apathy? — don't even waver whenever her predictions are fulfilled, and the noises of gunfire sound.

This time, unlike several other matches earlier, she's alone, surrounded by people too busy caring about themselves to think about such a thing as teamwork. As midday approaches, Nepgear has long since gone home, and Noire is back to being locked in her office dealing with paperwork — or perhaps just playing around, Uni doesn't know anymore.

And so, as yet another name appears on the screen following a successful headshot, the Lastationite Candidate shifts a bit in her spot on the sofa, all the while thinking about what happened hours earlier.

Or, rather, what _didn't_ happen.

Because she just can't bring herself do it like that.

Because Nepgear is more likely to reject her if she's not impressed or just plain happy beforehand.

Because Uni can't take the shot so freely when there's a way to increase her chances, even if only by one percent.

And so, for the time being, the ravenette continues to shoot in her game, if only to distract herself from a failure that hurt more than being slapped around by a giant sea serpent.

Missing the shot and not pulling the trigger are completely different things, after all.

"...?!"

It's then that it happens.

'It' is not a dramatic realization to modify her way of thinking, however, nor a shocking occurrence that changes her life forever.

Instead, it's a pair of arms wrapping around her from behind, joining together just below her neck in what can only be called a caring, sisterly embrace.

The short, puffy red sleeves on said arms, however, pretty much shoot down Uni's first guess as to the culprit.

"Lunch will be ready in ten minutes, alright? So put that frown upside down, because you're going to get food!" K-Sha's eternally cheerful voice sounds from behind her, and, for some reason, Uni can't help but find it sort of amazing how she's always like this.

Even more amazing, however, is how a minuscule smile does find its way to her lips.

"What's with you and making our meals everyday?" the ravenette ends up asking in an easy tone. "You do know we can cook by ourselves, right?"

"That's just too bad!" the other girl responds happily, her hug tightening ever so slightly. "As Lady Noire's loving future wife, I can't possibly allow that~!"

At the straight up outrageous reply, Uni can't stop a chuckle from escaping her. "My sister-in-law, huh..."

A few giggles sound as K-Sha finally lets go, taking a step back. "In any case, you better not be late, 'little sis'! Because if you tell me you're not hungry, I'm telling my dearest about that robot you bought!"

"Hey, I'm sad, not depressed," the ravenette protests half-heartedly, smile still in place and not a trace of panic in her features as she turns around. "I'll be there, honest."

"Good!" Satisfied, the second black-haired girl in the room makes her way to the exit, only to stop right before reaching the hallway.

Turning around, K-Sha shoots Uni a bright, wide smile and says one last sentence, one single phrase that should be only a string of words, but which, right now, Uni finds much more important than that.

" _Just do your best, 'kay?_ "

With that, she walks out of the living room, leaving behind only the Candidate on the sofa, staring at the spot the other girl once was.

...

...

...

"... Heh," after a moment, Uni chuckles yet again. "Seriously, what's with her? So nosy."

Well, it's not like she hates it.

Finally, the ravenette turns back to the TV—

"..."

—and sees the death screen displayed, quite obviously the result of not paying attention.

"... Of course," the girl mumbles, her lips still curled slightly upwards. She _was_ in the middle of a firefight, this was to be expected.

Then again, this is as good an excuse as any out there.

Without hesitation, Uni puts down the controller next to her and raises to her feet, reaching out to the console and turning it off rather than simply spawning once more. That done, she proceeds to march out of the room, the smile on her face widening even further.

Operation 56 won't plan itself, after all.

... And maybe it wouldn't hurt to help her best big sister make lunch.

* * *

At the same time, in the room hidden behind the bookshelf in Black Heart's elegant chambers, a certain girl halts for a moment, wondering where this sudden sense of inadequacy came from.

She gives up on that soon enough, however, and proceeds to pick a considerably risqué outfit from a nearby pile, holding it in front of her before the mirror with a wide, almost prideful smile.

And all's right with the world.


	6. Master rifles, show off with a shotgun

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

* * *

 **6) Master rifles, show off with a shotgun.**

Uni never thought of herself as particularly stubborn.

Determined? Of course. Hasty? Perhaps. High-strung? A little bit.

But utterly, honest-to-God _stubborn_?

Not at all.

Which is why the girl can't help but feel a bit weird as she sits on her luxurious bed, holding up the small, gray doll-like construct with what seems like a mini-TV for a head and robot claws for hands.

Of course, Uni muses, she knows the difference between messing up for inexperience and messing up for getting carried away, and what happened before was definitely the latter. Still, it's a strange sensation to go back to robots rather than, well, trying to send a confession through a message once more.

Rotation is important, if only to make this whole thing less frustrating.

However, she can't just ignore the items at her disposal, the Candidate reminds herself as she lightly shakes the little robot, watching its limbs flail at every movement. This here just so happened to be ninety-freaking-percent off, and Uni isn't one to let such chances slip by.

Especially since she's almost broke by this point.

Letting a frown reach her lips, the ravenette raises to her feet and places the small construct on her bed, watching as it stays seated in place. A good purchase or not, she did buy it without even thinking about it; whatever she'll use it for, the fact is that the girl currently has absolutely no master plan wandering around her mind.

That, and the thing looks pretty plain, she notes.

Maybe Uni should mod it into a battle robot and present it to Nepgear? No, messing with that sort of technology is just asking for trouble. And, besides, even if nothing were to go laughably wrong, what'd all that effort get her? A squeal, a praise and nothing more? Maybe a smile too?

Only somebody overly stupid _and_ incredibly desperate would even consider working their backs off like that for a _praise_.

"..."

It's then that Uni freezes, the weight of what she just said setting in.

Great. Now she just _knows_ these memories will be coming back when she tries to sleep tonight.

Shaking her head, the ravenette forces her mind to focus back on the issue. Perhaps she could just... use it as a messenger? Have the robot relay her confession to Nepgear? All because Uni has absolutely no backbone and can't bring herself to actually confess like any functioning living being would after being friends for years with their crush who just so happens to be absolutely single and without any suitor in sight?

Well, that doesn't sound like a mouthful of pitifulness at all!

Still, the ravenette reasons as she brings a hand to her chin, she already accepted her pitifulness long ago, a simple consequence of playing this game for so long. Doing something like that wouldn't really hurt her pride that much, especially since the ideas of 'preserving self-respect' and 'confessing to Nepgear' just can't seem to mesh well at all in her head.

Gosh, she already tried expressing her feelings through cooking!

 _Cooking_!

Who the heck did Uni think she was, a T****uki Academy student?! At this point, it wouldn't be out of character for her to wear a virgin-killer sweater, visit Nepgear and just _lunge_ at that dense-

"?!"

At that, the girl instantly halts her train of thought, if only to allow the heat of a plasma bullet to cross her cheeks.

Alright, _maybe_ she's going too far there. Like, far too far. So incredibly far she just _needs_ to record her entire fantasy somewhere to read later.

 _That's_ how far.

However, that still proves her point, the Candidate muses as she folds her arms, doing her best to ignore the urge to dig a hole and hide inside it after realizing just how pitiful she really is; things like 'pride' just can't stand in the ravenette's way if her mind is set, for better or worse.

In other words, she _can_ , as a matter of fact, use the little robot as a messenger.

... Not right away, however. That'd be dumb. Instead, she should take her time to actually write something nice, and then maybe modify the small construct a bit, if only to make it less plain.

With that less-than-wholesome-but-still-something plan in mind, Uni then proceeds to bring her focus back to the plain, small robot seated on her bed-

"... Huh?"

-only to realize it's not plain anymore.

Rather, with skin and a certain white dress painted on it, alongside a robotic expression that somehow brings an idea of panic to the mind, it's beyond clear that the object before her is now a famous special edition of the model.

Namely, a **Nepgeardam**.

"Huh?"

Sensing a damp feeling on her fingertips, Uni slowly brings them up, only to see purple paint there, alongside a few dry white spots on her fingers.

"Huh?!"

Catching something on the corner of her vision, the girl then hesitantly turns to her right, where a wide wooden table is placed, its surface covered by pasteboard covered in colorful stains and several sprays of paint.

 _"Huh?!"_

 ***Creeeeak***

And then the door opens.

Startled, Uni snaps her head towards the door.

Then she freezes.

Noire, meanwhile, just stares, one hand on the doorknob and another holding the key she undoubtedly just used.

She stares at Uni, whose hands are still raised to reveal the paint on them.

She stares at the table, filled with tools mostly used by artists and art enthusiasts alike, none of which the younger ravenette is.

She stares at the bed, where the robot whose resemblance to another Candidate is beyond obvious sits still.

And then, after a second that feels like an eternity...

She sighs.

"Right. It's Saturday again," the older girl mutters under her breath, looking at her sister with an expression that just screams 'I knew it.' "In any case, I'll be going to a meeting right now, and I'm sure K-Sha will follow me whether I like it or not. Take care of the house, and don't bring in Nepugia again, okay?"

With that said, Noire starts moving away, closing the door on her way out.

"... Ah, right."

Just then, though, she stops, turning towards her little sister once more.

"Next time, I'll barge in after the _third_ call rather than the _sixth_."

Finally, the door closes, and so the CPU is gone.

As for the Lastationite Candidate, who remains alone in her room...

 _"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?!"_

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

Uni takes a deep breath. Following that, she straightens her back against the tree's trunk.

Then she takes another deep breath, just to make sure.

In front of her is one of Planeptune's many parks, filled with lush green grass, bushes, trees huddled together and the occasional cybernetic-looking grid on the ground. Of course, that's not where her actual objective is.

Silently, the ravenette crouches down and peeks from behind the tree, looking through the light foliage of a bush and the tall fence limiting the park. On the other side of the metal bars whose gaps are wide enough to let a dogoo pass by, the citizens of Planeptune are just enjoying their day, walking by the sidewalks, driving their cars or just passing time in one of the several businesses on the other side of the street, from clothing shops to restaurants and even a few weapon vendors.

And, as it turns out, a certain lilac-haired girl is currently enjoying her time together with her sister in a cafe nearby, the purple parasol above their outdoor table protecting the two of them from the morning's sun.

As both girls happily eat their puddings, completely unaware of the scarlet eyes focusing on them, the Lastationite Candidate can't help but let a smirk reach her lips. How _fortunate_ for Nepgear to comment about her 'date' with Neptune just a few days prior.

After all, _now Uni can make sure the next one will be with her_!

Holding the urge to start chuckling like an evil mastermind, the ravenette doesn't waste time in summoning the small robot, placing it by her side before also whipping out its black controller, grasping it tightly.

This is it. She knows she said- erm, _thought_ that same sentence about fifty different times by this point, but now this is _really_ it.

The girl glances at the construct, silently observing its appearance, unchanged since its last modification due to the nature of the paint used.

In other words, it's still a Nepgeardam.

"..."

Her smile twitches. Just a bit.

 _'At least this has to make an impression...'_

Tearing her eyes off the thing, she then looks at the controller in her hands. It looks pretty generic, all things considered, to the point that, if it weren't for the extra levers, she could probably trick somebody into thinking it's for a toy car rather than, well, a freaking robot.

At first glance, it seems pretty easy to understand.

... Or at least it would be, _if there actually were any labels on the darn thing_.

Muttering under her breath about bad design choices, Uni summons the small instructions booklet and, with a hand still holding the controller, starts skimming through it.

...

...

...

Alright, it seems simple enough.

With that out of the way, Uni places the booklet on the grass before summoning a scrap of paper. Moving a lever, she opens the Nepgeardam's right robot claw, placing the note there before closing it.

It's not a confession proper, no; the atmosphere right now is just not right for something like that. Instead, it's an anonymous invitation to lead Nepgear to the place where it'll actually happen, possibly under the moonlight if the weather doesn't decide to screw up everything.

Excessive? Probably. Redundant? Oh, definitely.

But it _will_ , however, cause an impression; hopefully a bigger one than the robot's very appearance will.

Because, really, having it otherwise would be pretty humiliating.

"... I guess everything is ready now."

Uni shoots a last glance at her target's previous location, confirming that she's still happily eating- wait, is that her _fifth_ cup?!

Hell, that girl's really fired up today, isn't she?

Well, at least that essentially destroys the chances of Nepgear just walking away before the Nepgeardam reaches her.

That would _also_ be pretty humiliating.

Steeling herself for what's to come, Uni takes yet another deep breath, if only to prevent her eagerness–and nervousness, of course–from peaking at the worst moment possible. Following that, she grasps the controller, and, remembering the controls...

She makes the Nepgeardam walk forward.

It walks abnormally, almost comically, with its legs and arms moving in ways only a robot can. What it doesn't do is walk slowly, however, and it's not long until the small construct goes through a gap in the fence, earning the quizzical looks of several passersby-

 ***bang***

"Eh?"

-and promptly ignoring the ravenette's command to stop, hitting head-on the cylindrical, one-meter tall cleaning bot wandering the sidewalk.

"..."

The Nepgeardam is able to walk back a few steps easily enough, however, this time walking around the other construct-

 ***bang***

-and seemingly attempting to make out with a lamppost.

"U-Um..."

As expected, lots of people are staring by now.

Luckily, the Planeptune sisters still aren't.

As such, the ravenette doesn't hesitate to have the robot retreat a bit once more and, using both her hearing coupled with a few glances through the gaps in the bush to make sure no car is coming, has it rush to cross the street-

"W-Whoa!" ***BANG***

-only for it to run in front of a cyclist, resulting in a failed attempt to dodge and some blonde guy with green shades lying above an overturned cleaning bot.

"..."

Uni is pretty much sweating at this point.

Still, the Nepgeardam crosses the street soon enough, reaching the opposite sidewalk-

"AH!" ***Bang***

-and promptly tripping a police officer, who then proceeds to headbutt a lamppost quite _hard_.

It's about then that the ravenette starts trembling.

Nepgear and Neptune are also staring curiously now from three stores away.

 _'... Oh, to hell with it!'_

Throwing caution to the wind, Uni makes the robot start running towards its target, making several passersby instictively move out of the way as it rushes through-

 ***Crash***

-and promptly decides to just defy all commands, turning to the right two stores away from the cafe and entering a particularly elegant-looking clothing shop through its previously closed glass door.

A few seconds later, several people run out screaming for some follows soon after.

"..."

As the screams continue, Uni lets go of the controller and reaches for the instructions booklet, calmly looking through the pages for anything she might have missed.

And then she sees it.

On the last page, right at the end of the instructions, is a small sentence, surrounded by a rectangle as if to say 'this is important.'

" _As always... don't forget... to readjust... the parts..._ " the ravenette reads, her words coming in a dead tone which could easily pass as a voice synthesizer's.

For the longest of whiles, she just stares at the phrase, blinking blankly at it. Slowly, she raises to her feet, still hidden behind the tree and holding onto the controller.

Nearby, the screams have died down somewhat, but the smell of burning cloth has gotten much stronger.

Several moments later, just as distant sirens sound...

Uni lets out a chuckle.

And slowly retreats into the park.


	7. Fire an automatic, don't hold the recoil

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

* * *

 **7) Fire an automatic, don't hold the recoil.**

Failure.

Complete and utter failure.

That would be the one way to describe her results up until now, Uni muses.

As she sits on her elegant bed, bathed by the Saturday morning's sunlight coming through the windows, staring blankly at her definitely locked door whilst supporting her head with both hands in an incredibly telling display of boredom, the ravenette can't think of a single time her plans yielded more than maybe one or two nice things to herself.

And that's really bad, considering just how many of them she already went through.

Letting out a soft sigh, the girl falls backwards on the mattress, letting her body hit the softness without any resistance. At this point, it's pretty difficult to come up with something she hasn't done already. Not because she did everything a living being could possibly do, no; it's just the usual side-effect of brainstorming so much your imagination runs dry.

There's also a certain distraction that came in a few minutes ago which makes immersing herself deep in thoughts a little bit more difficult.

"What are you thinking about?" The second black-haired girl laying right next to her and wearing what can only be described as a red school uniform suddenly asks, her flat voice quite telling of her emotional state as she just stares upwards.

"Things," Uni replies in the very same tone, blinking slowly. "Several things."

"... I see." K-Sha nods, going straight back at doing absolutely nothing a moment later.

Her sudden intrusion was a bit of a surprise, if anything, as was the schoolgirl locking the door and asking if she could stay for here until sunset, but the CPU Candidate couldn't just refuse a request like that, no matter how weird.

Again, the girl next to her felt the need to _lock the door on her way in._

You _don't_ turn away a person who does that.

Still, as weird as this is, Uni might as well take some advantage of this...

"Hey, K-Sha." The Candidate lets her head fall to the side, staring blankly at the other girl. "What do you do when you're trying to accomplish something but nothing you come up with is working?"

"Buy wedding rings," comes K-Sha's emotionless response as she glances back.

Uni raises an eyebrow. "But Noire rejected those."

"Yes, she did." The schoolgirl nods.

"..."

"..."

Both girls let out a big sigh in unison.

"Go to the basics, maybe?" K-Sha suggests, her voice growing slightly more lively as she pulls herself into a sitting position. "I know _I_ wouldn't make a ten-step plan to shoot Lady Neptune."

"... Neptune?"

"I said 'a target.'"

"No, I'm pretty sure-"

" _A target_ ," the girl repeats just a bit forcefully, glancing back at Uni.

"..."

For a moment, the Candidate just stares at the schoolgirl.

Then she just shrugs, doing the same as K-Sha and sitting up on the bed once again. "I guess that's worth some thought..."

"Great, I heard Lady Neptune is going out today so-"

"I'm talking about _going back to the basics_ ," Uni cuts off the other girl, rolling her eyes. " _Not_ doing a government-funded hit job on a foreign national leader who my sister may or may not like."

"... How boring," K-Sha mumbles, idly playing with the hem of her skirt. "You could at least help out a friend."

"..."

The Lastationite Candidate wisely decides to ignore the bored girl, instead focusing on her newest fraction of a plan.

It's better than nothing, anyway.

Without delay, the girl starts thinking of just about any cliché which crosses her mind. Maybe she could try turning a session of 'hanging out' into a date, then confessing when the sunset comes?

"..."

That probably works, yeah.

With that in mind, Uni summons a black smartphone to her grasp and starts searching for anything which would entertain Nepgear in the Land of Black Regality. Maybe a movie? Probably a comedy in that case; a romance would just make the ravenette feel awkward. And everyone likes sweets, so maybe she could also go for a known candy store. An elegant one, that is; not a kiddy one.

Then again, if anything's too gaudy, the lilac-haired girl might feel a bit awkward.

... This might be a little bit more troublesome than Uni figured.

"By the way, you never told me why you're hiding here," the ravenette suddenly asks, turning towards the schoolgirl. She shouldn't really change the subject away from such an important matter like Nepgear, but there are some questions which just need to be asked.

And 'why did you barge in into my room and lock the door behind you' is a pretty important one.

K-Sha doesn't respond at first, looking away somewhat bashfully, obviously hesitant to share what happened. It's not for long, however, and soon enough she opens her mouth-

 _"Wheeeere are yooou, deareeest?!"_ A distant voice suddenly sounds from somewhere in the floor. _"I prepared a hoooot baaaath for the two of uuuus~ Now **come out of hiding already before I level this entire Basilicom to the ground!** "_

"..."

"..."

Uni blinks.

"Was that... Noire...?" she slowly asks, more bewildered than anything.

For her part, K-Sha only looks a bit more embarrassed. "I... may have bought a love potion online... And it may have actually worked..."

"... Is that so?"

"Kind of..." the schoolgirl replies unsurely, focusing a bit too intently on the elegant white carpet. "I mean, Noire got this creepy wide smile when she looked at me and started following me everywhere... Then she started getting all touchy-feely, and everything was nice, but then my darling started sniffing and it all felt too much even for me, so I..." She lets out an awkward cough. "... hit her and ran away..."

"Right... And where is that potion you bought?"

"I, um, left it in my drawer," K-Sha responds a bit sheepishly, finally gathering up enough courage to look at the Candidate. "Why do you want to know-"

It's then that she freezes.

"... Uni?"

"Yes?"

"Did you see my darling before...?"

"No, why?"

"W-Well..." The schoolgirl gulps before continuing. "Why are you making the same face as her...?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, K-Sha," Uni responds politely before raising from the bed, storing away her phone. "Now, I'm just going away for a second."

Just as she reaches the door, however, the other girl's slow, clearly nervous voice sounds once more. "W-Where to?"

The Candidate twists the lock and reaches for the knob before looking back, her smile so abnormally wide one might rightfully wonder if her mind is even in the right place at the moment.

Then, she parts her lips, letting out two simple words.

 _"Towards victory."_

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

"-and then she called me a thieving witch before running off with Neptune, who, might I add, _was still unconscious,_ " Uni finishes her tale as she lies on the bed, staring blankly at nothing. "Kinda cute how she didn't use any actual bad words, but I still feel a bit bad for Neptune."

"I don't!" K-Sha adds helpfully from her spot next to the Candidate, not a single trace of shame in her cheerful features. "And if it weren't for your feelings and the potion's time limit, I'd wish her a happy incestual abusive relationship!"

"... There are so many things wrong with what you just said that I don't even know where to start," Uni mumbles with a sigh. "Say, what happened to Noire while I was out? I'm pretty sure she said she'd level the Basilicom..."

"I threw her into the sewers~!" comes the schoolgirl's overly cheerful answer.

At that, the Lastationite Candidate can't help but stare, letting out the one sound which perfectly explains her thoughts.

"Eh."

"She grabbed me and tried to do all sorts of questionable things, so I just threw her out of the window and right into a manhole floors below!" K-Sha explains, her expression becoming more and more blissful by the second as she looks anywhere but into Uni's eyes. "I know I should be distressed, but I can still remember the sensation of her hands all over my body and it was so...!"

And, of course, the sound she lets out next probably deserves its own rating.

"You're not consistent at all, are you?" the Candidate mumbles, rolling her eyes. "Didn't you say it was too much for you?"

"Which is why my darling is now in the sewers and not snuggling with me!" K-Sha happily points out, finally meeting the other girl's eyes.

"... Right." Holding in the urge to sigh one time too many, Uni sits up on the bed, once again summoning her smartphone. "So, back to the planning phase... Until Noire comes back and tries to burn her own goverment to the ground, that is."

"I bet she'll look just gallant doing so~"

"And I bet you won't be thinking that when she does come back," the Candidate mutters under her breath. "In any case, maybe I should also plan something in the amusement park...? Couples go there all the time, right?"

It's then that K-Sha raises an eyebrow at the other ravenette. "... I think that'd require you guys to be a real couple in the first place."

"..."

Uni can't help but wince at that.

It's true, but still...!

"W-Well, I could also settle for giving Nepgear a gift or two," she manages to add, ignoring the sharp pain in her soul as she turns to the schoolgirl. "Something impressive, I mean. Not necessarily a bunch of expensive gems."

"Really?" K-Sha replies in a confused tone, leaning back a bit and staring at the ceiling as she does so. "But didn't a scout team find a dungeon filled with pretty gems a few days ago? I don't know, even if there are a lot of hunters exploring it, maybe you'd find something really nice in there... Wait." Just like that, her expression brightens enough to light an entire city. " _I_ could also find something really nice for my darling! I'm sure that'd raise a lot of points with her~!"

Not managing to keep the giddy expression off her face, the girl then turns to the Lasationite Candidate before continuing. "Why don't we go there together right... now..."

K-Sha blinks.

Where did Uni go?

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

"-and I'm _pretty sure_ dragons shouldn't be able to climb walls like actual lizards or _spew acid,_ but _here I am_!" Uni hits the bed with her left fist as she finishes with a scowl, only to wince as the bandaged hand hits the mattress under her. "And to think these will take a few days to heal, even though I'm a CPU..."

"I guess that's too much even for you, huh," K-Sha cheerfully muses with a smile as she continues to bandage the other girl's entire right arm. "Well, it's not like we'd find a big treasure lying around unprotected. And done!" she finally announces, letting go of the Candidate's arm.

"And it's not like pretty much everyone I met on my way there didn't tell me exactly that, I know," Uni mumbles with a disappointed sigh as she brings her newly covered limb closer, twisting it a bit if only to find out what _not_ to do. Following that, she shoots a minuscule bashful grin at the other girl. "Maybe I shouldn't have bolted out like that, hahaha..."

"'Hahaha' my ass, stop being an idiot," the schoolgirl retorts quite bluntly, her smile still very much in place as the other winces. "Next time I'll actually put a collar on you."

"S-Sorry..." she manages to stutter back, her lips just barely managing to keep themselves twisted upwards. Maybe she shouldn't have been so trigger-happy... "I-In any case, did Noire do something while I was away?"

"Ah, my darling?" At the mention of the Lastationite CPU, any traces of annoyance disappear from K-Sha's face, the girl bringing both hands to her cheeks as happiness itself shows up all over her features. "She proposed to me with a dead tulip and a ring that was actually a piece from an R4 monster~"

"... That doesn't sound romantic at all."

"It was for me~!" the schoolgirl happily disagrees, her cheeks becoming redder by the second. "Too bad I had to lock her inside the Sharicite's chamber~!"

"At least she can't cause any trouble from there..." Letting out a big sigh, Uni once again takes her phone out of the inventory, looking over the ideas she already wrote on it. "So, I was thinking about adding a trip to an elegant massage parlour... but I'm sure Nepgear would be too embarrassed to go through with it." Not to mention how the ravenette isn't exactly happy with the prospect of someone else running their hands all over the lilac-haired girl.

She _will_ be the first one to do that.

"I could also just drag her to the beach," the girl adds with a shrug. "People go there all the time."

"Hoping she'll ask for help with the sunscreen~?" K-Sha asks a bit too happily.

"Not at all," instantly replies the Candidate in a serious tone, her cheeks burning red.

"You don't need to get so flustered, my little sister-in-law," the schoolgirl begins with a wide smile, directing her sight upwards as she falls back on the bed. "It's just sunscreen, not that potent skin aphrodisiac they just developed in Leanbox!"

It's then that Uni freezes.

"A potent skin aphrodisiac, you say?"

"Yes!" K-Sha nods excitedly, her smile widening a bit too much. "Its effectiveness is far beyond the ordinary light stuff! If only I could get my hands on it and rub it all over my darlling...!"

"... Well, why didn't you buy it yet?"

The other girl deflates at that. "It's just so expensive... It feels like a waste even for me."

"I see..." Uni nods, looking straight ahead all the while. "... Say, about how much money flows into our treasury every month?"

"..."

Slowly, the schoolgirl brings her emerald eyes towards the ravenette beside her.

The Lastationite Candidate returns the look just a moment later, silently staring with her scarlet orbs and phone still in hand.

"..."

"..."

K-Sha moves first.

Uni is faster.

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

"... So, let me get this straight," Noire begins as she looks at the two girls before her, all three of them illuminated by the Sharicite's glow inside the dark chamber as the taller ravenette attempts to fix her dirty, crumpled outfit. "You _accidentally_ gave me a large dose of what I can easily describe as a psychological-altering drug through my coffee, is that right?"

"Yes!" the smiling schoolgirl replies shamelessly.

Giving up on making her clothes look good again after a while, the CPU folds her arms under her chest. "Then I went crazy, did all sorts of unsightly things and... made a certain amount of our treasury's money disappear?"

"Y-Yeah..." her younger sister quietly confirms, her eyes not leaving the black, polished floor.

"And, while all that happened... Uni got hurt on a quest, but it's nothing serious despite the bandages."

Without missing a beat, both Candidate and unofficial advisor advisor nod twice at that.

For the long moment which follows, Noire just stares, occasionally blinking as she undoubtedly attempts to accept what happened. Eventually, she takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a while in her arduous search for some peace.

"Alright..." the CPU speaks as tired scarlet orbs reveal themselves once more. "And what is _this_?"

"Hm?" K-Sha titls her head quizzically as she joins both hands behind her back, the movement causing the metallic chain in her grasp to rattle around a bit. "I have no idea what you're referring to, darling!"

In the meantime, Uni doesn't even raise her ashamed gaze from the ground, lightly tugging at the black collar around her neck.

"..." After several moments, Noire lets out a long sigh. "Fine. Just don't let anyone see this. There are already enough rumors about us as is..."

With that out of the way, bearing the most long-suffering expression possible, the CPU walks past the two girls and towards the chamber's entrance, clearly doing her best to ignore her younger sister's literal whines as she passes by. "I'm going to try and deal with whatever happened around here. _Please_ don't make any headline news while I'm away."

"See you later, my dear~!" K-Sha waves at the taller ravenette just as she disappears into the Basilicom's corridors.

And in regards to the one and only crestfallen CPU Candidate of Lastation, standing meekly right next to her...

"Alright, she's gone!" the schoolgirl happily declares a few seconds later, turning towards the collared girl. "Now let's go look for stuff to sell from your gun collection~!"

As K-Sha proceeds to run off and tug at the chain a bit too hard for her liking, Uni isn't exactly proud of the whimpering noises that escape her lips as she follows along.

She might have made some mistakes today...


	8. Shoot well alone, get shy at onlookers

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

* * *

 **8) Shoot** **well alone, get shy at onlookers.**

Lastation's capital.

Big, busy, filled with all sorts of notably tall buildings and factories, and coupled with a large variety of establishments meant to waste one's time for absolutely no compensation.

... In other words, the perfect place for a date.

Which is exactly why Uni is currently standing in front of a big train station, clad in a pair of black shorts and a similarly colored T-shirt as she watches the crowd descending and ascending the steps leading to the platform.

That's right. She's going on a _date_ with Nepgear!

Just the thought alone has the girl fidgeting and smiling like an idiot!

Granted, it's actually "a sunny afternoon of hanging out alone with each other" as far as the Planeptunian Candidate is concerned, but whatever! They'll go to the movies, they'll eat stuff together, they'll play some games, and then, when the sunset comes and the two girls coincidentally find themselves with a full view of the romantic spectacle...!

 _Her dream will come true!_

"Hehehe... Hehehehe~" Uni finds herself giggling as her imagination begins to work, bringing her hands to her reddened cheeks. Gosh, she's probably making one of those faces Uzume does sometimes! A bit further and people will start looking~

And just like that the expression vanishes, replaced by the seriousness of a soldier.

She can't fail this time. Not after spending a whole night planning how this will go.

Taking her hands off her cheeks, the girl does a show of stretching her arms...

Then places a palm over her ear.

"Any sight of her from up there?"

" _Nope_ ," K-Sha's voice comes from the nearly invisible communicator in her ear, already sounding tired. " _No sight of your girlfriend anywhere from this rooftop... And the last time you asked me that was twenty-one seconds ago_."

"Drat..." The Lastationite Candidate clicks her tongue, letting her eyes wander around the crowd. "Did she get lost? This could throw everything off..."

" _D... Did you just ignore what I said_ —"

"Keep looking for her," Uni requests, folding her arms impatiently. "She should have been here seven minutes ago... Don't tell me something did happen."

" _... Sometimes I wonder why I bother._ " K-Sha lets out a big sigh. " _Also, right side, about to walk near you._ "

 _'Finally!'_

With a big smile, the ravenette turns towards the indicated direction, eager to speak with her date—

Uni halts.

The older-looking Neptune does too, staring right back.

"..."

"..."

After a long moment, the taller girl nervously averts her sight before hurriedly scurrying away, disappearing into the crowd.

" _... I am instantly worried._ "

"I wish you were the only one..."

Right now, the ravenette wishes she could just call it a coincidence and leave it at that.

If only she didn't know how the song goes...

"Oh, Uni!"

"...!"

At that, the girl perks up.

There's no mistaking it this time, the ravenette thinks as she turns towards the voice! That can only be—

"Hey, girl." Nepugia raises a hand to greet her, a smirk on her lips.

"..."

Uni blinks.

Right on cue, the doppelganger starts walking away, placing a hand in her mouth as she snickers. Scarlet eyes follow her all the while, until she disappears amidst the sea of people.

" _Red alarm ringing..._ "

"I know, I know," the Lastationite Candidate whispers back in a hushed tone, annoyance overtaking her features.

This _really_ doesn't look good...

"Ah, Uni!"

It takes the ravenette everything not to let out a big sigh right then and there.

 _'What is it now, a robot Nepgear?... **My** robot Nepgear?'_

By this point, she wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.

Even so, the ravenette directs her sight towards whoever spoke all the same. Might as well get this over with...

 _'... Ah.'_

"Hm?" As their eyes meet, Nepgear tilts her head quizzically, causing her ponytail to sway a bit. Even so, a wide smile is on her lips, as pretty as her casual pink dress and purple mini jacket. "What is it?"

"..."

" _You look... a bit underdressed._ "

Uni knows.

Holy heavens, _she knows._

"Um..." It's not long until a worried frown mars the lilac-haired girl's lips. "You're staring a bit too much... Really, what is it?"

"... You're pretty."

"Eh?"

Just like that, a deep scarlet overtakes Nepgear's face. In her ear, Uni can hear K-Sha choking on air.

One second later, her brain registers what her mouth said.

 _' **AH.** '_

And red goes the ravenette's face, now only missing ludicrous amounts of rising steam for a perfect imagery.

" _Mind kissing her hand now, Romeo?_ "

 _'Shut up, shut up, shut uuuuup_!'

A hole. Uni urgently needs a hole to hide inside forever.

"W-Well..." Unsurprisingly, the lilac-haired girl eventually averts her eyes, her lips forming a bashful smile. "He-Hearing that makes me kinda happy, but..."

 _But. But, she said._

 _'Someone kill me.'_

"A-Anyway!" the ravenette suddenly shouts, attracting quite a few glances. "W-We should be going! The movie! We need to go watch the movie!"

"...!"

At those words, a look of realization crosses Nepgear's face.

"That's right," she begins in an urgent voice. "It's going to start in just twenty minutes! We should be going!"

"Y-Yes, that's exactly rig— Huh?!"

"C'mon, let's go!" the lilac-haired girl says, completely disregarding how she just _grabbed Uni's hand and began dragging her along._

 _They're holding hands._

 _'Holriw— Wamiu— Arfga—'_

 _ **This is the best day ever.**_

" _Um, you're... making quite the face there, little sister..._ "

If Uni heard her, she hid it quite well.

 _She's too busy having the best day ever._

* * *

"..."

"Ooooh~"

"..."

"Amazing~!"

"..."

This is the worst day ever.

Not because of the bright, fast-paced and unmistakably robot-related movie beng projected against the big white screen several rows in front of the two girls. Not because of just how strangely _tense_ the entire room filled to the brim with fans feels, no doubt a consequence of the piece's genre. And most certainly _not_ because Uni is sitting on a dark, cushioned seat next to an extremely excited Nepgear, inside a cold and dim room where huddling together would be nothing out of the ordinary.

Hell, those were all part of the plan, so _of course_ the Lastationite Candidate doesn't feel bothered by any of it!

Well, maybe she underestimated the effect this movie in particular would have on the lilac-haired girl, who seems about to jump from her seat and fangirl _hard_ , but it's not as if that was entirely unexpected.

There's only a single unfortunate variable in this situation, however. One small, little detail.

Carefully, Uni takes a sneaky glance behind her.

Three rows behind the duo is a girl, or perhaps just a young-looking woman, focusing on the movie with attentive sapphire-colored eyes. From where she is, Uni can clearly see that she has long silvery-gray hair, reaching down to her mid-back, and is wearing a pretty, casual loose dress which seems to be black on the sides and white on the front, the colors separated by gray vertical lines.

Also, she's been throwing occasional looks at both Uni and Nepgear for a while now.

"..."

Uni scowls, feeling her exasperation growing by the second.

It's Kei. No matter how different she looks, it's Kei who's sitting there, sporting an unusual but not unfamiliar hairstyle.

Directing her view forward just as the Oracle's next glance comes, the ravenette would have tsked had she not the awareness that the girl next to her would notice it.

 _"Your bad luck really is no joke, huh..."_ K-Sha sighs from somewhere else in the room, her seat unknown even to the Lastationite Candidate herself _. "So, I'm guessing you'll get cold feet about now... Dang. Try packing some rabbit paws next time, 'kay?"_

Uni nearly scoffs at the very suggestion. As if she would believe that something like that brings luck; it's just a stupid superstition, much like many others!

She'd know. It didn't work before.

Gritting her teeth, the ravenette takes another look at her nation's one and only Oracle, the woman's expression a strange mix of the usual stoicism and unmistakable excitement. To think she'd be interested in _giant robots_ of all things...

 _What are the chances?!_

... Or at least that's how the girl wishes the situation was. Be it paranoia or basic pattern-reading, she has an inkling that Kei isn't here for the robots...

Cursing under her breath, Uni once again looks at the ongoing movie, just in time for a big explosion and the cute noise of Nepgear trying to hold in an excited shout.

Too bad she can't use that cue to begin a romantic event sequence.

 _Not with someone she knows watching._

 _"Cooold feeeet..."_

 _'Dammit, K-Sha, I'm trying!'_

* * *

"That... was... _awesome_!" Nepgear breathes out as she exits the movie theater, walking through the crowds with a visibly deflated Uni right behind her. "The action, the excitement... _the romance_!"

Romance, she says. In a movie about giant robots.

As the lilac-haired girl rambles on, the ravenette lets out a quiet sigh. The love of her life, ladies and gentlemen...

"—and when they combined using just their fighting spirits, it was so _amazing_!" Nepgear clasps her hands together, turning around to face her friend who was definitely smiling all along and certainly not moping at all, no sir. "Don't you think so, Uni?!"

"Y-Yeah," the Lastationite Candidate nods, holding her forced smile together. Fortunately, the lilac-haired girl doesn't seem to notice, spinning forward and resuming her rambles about the movie.

And a scowl appears over Uni's lips.

That whole thing didn't go well. At all.

First event done, and not a single point gathered. If that's not underwhelming, she doesn't know what is.

If only there hadn't been an unexpected witness in there...

... No, she can't really say it was unexpected, the ravenette silently muses. Her bad luck seems to be a passive skill by this point.

It takes until both girls finally reach the edge of the sidewalk for Nepgear's excitement to wind down, her ramblings finally coming to a stop just as she turns around to face her friend.

Being a proper gamer, Uni passes the QTE like a pro and instantly puts on the happy mask.

"I had so much fun!" the lilac-haired girl says with a smile, her cuteness alone almost earning her a surprise glomp. "Do you have anything else planned for us, Uni?"

Yes. Marriage.

That comes later, though.

"Of course!" Adopting a prideful smile meant to tell Nepgear she can— _and should_ —always rely on her, the ravenette directs her eyes towards a certain ice cream-related establishment on the other side of the street—

Oh.

Much like the cold delicacies she had in mind, Uni freezes.

Right there, visible through the glass pane, seated on a small table amidst the parlor's colorful interior, enjoying what seems to be chocolate ice cream covered in bright sprinkles...

That's Noire.

There's no doubt. That's definitely Noire right there. And not even her own, if her exposed midriff means anything.

"..."

W... What are the chances of this being just a coincidence...?

"Uni?"

"?!" At her name, the ravenette jolts in her spot. Slowly, adopting a not-all-that-fake embarrassed expression, she turns towards her friend's worried eyes. "Um... It's... closed," she lies through her teeth. "The place I wanted to go... I just remembered it's closed today..."

"... Is that so..." As Nepgear's expression falls, the utter sadness she displays is almost enough to make Uni spill everything on the spot.

Almost.

Doesn't mean it has no effect, though.

"W-Well, why don't we go look for somewhere else?!" the Lastationite Candidate hastily offers, outright yanking the lilac-haired girl and dragging her through the crowds.

Unsurprisingly, Nepgear yelps, clearly surprised by the sudden roughness. "U-Uni?! What are you—"

"Hold on tight," the ravenette replies, not even glancing back at the other girl. "We don't want to get separated here!"

"Ah, um, yes!"

And that's the end of it.

 _"Huh? Wait, why are you two going aw—Oh."_

Yes. "Oh."

Story of her life.

 _'What's going on here...?!'_

* * *

"Goodness, that was actually pretty tasty!"

"Hehe, wasn't it?"

As the two girls walk away from the first random ice cream parlor that Uni spotted, it's that sort of casual conversation that dominates the atmosphere.

"I wonder if they have any establishments in Planeptune." With a wide smile, Nepgear turns to look at her friend as they continue to move through the somewhat busy sidewalk. "I didn't even know about that brand before."

Yeah. Neither did Uni.

But she doesn't let it show, instead twisting her lips slightly upwards as she returns the gesture. "Well, you can find all sorts of cool places if you know where to look." Or if you're determined enough.

The lilac-haired girl hums in agreement as she looks forward, as cheerful as ever. "That was fun. What should we do next?"

"I was thinking of hanging out by an arcade nearby—"

 _"Two Loweean kids by the corner of the building behind you."_

"—or maybe we could go buy clothes!" Uni finishes hastily, her voice just a little bit hysterical. "I know a place that's having a sale right now, so let's hurry!"

"Eh?" is all Nepgear says when her hand is suddenly grabbed, followed by a yelp as her best friend suddenly starts dragging her along as fast as possible.

Uni never looks back.

* * *

"Oh, what do you think of this one?" the lilac-haired girl asks, taking a sleeveless purple top from the pile of clothes. "It's a bit plain, but it's also pretty cheap!"

Looking away from a selection of jackets that could work as holsters with some modifications, Uni smiles at the other girl. "That's definitely plain, but I think you can make it work."

Except that's true for whatever Nepgear might ever wear. Not that Uni's saying it out loud.

Her romantic target just smiles back, the expression as pretty as any other which ever graced her face—

 _"The 'Hueg & Crazy' comedy duo, behind the shelf by the pillar at seven o'clock, might be planning something."_

—then proceeds to blink as Uni suddenly grabs a random article of clothing from the pile by her right, tosses it at the lilac-haired girl, then proceeds to turn her around and push her towards the open dressing room nearby. "By the way, mind trying this out?"

"Um," is the sound which escapes Nepgear's lips just as she enters the small cubicle adjacent to the shop's walls, looking back with a confused expression. "Wait, why—"

"I just kinda wanna see it," comes Uni's instant response. Before the other girl can respond, she grabs the white curtain meant to block the view and pulls it across the metal bar holding it in place, effectively closing the room.

"..."

Her smile dies.

In a single motion, she spins around, summons a knife, throws it at a certain pillar behind her, recalls it back to her inventory just before it actually hits anything, and finally completes the spin, assuming a casual stance with an arm by her hip as if nothing happened.

Other shoppers don't look at her. No worker comes to have a talk with her. The camera person is probably staring, but they probably won't do anything too hasty.

There's a rustling noise nearby.

 _"... Huh. Comedy duo retreating, seems you gave Hakozaki a heart attack. Good going."_

Even with the praise, Uni can't find it in herself to feel particularly satisfied.

If there was any doubt before, now there are none: they're all onto her for whatever reason.

The girl almost curses out loud. How did everyone find out about today? Since when is her failure of a love life a spectacle? And why can't her audience at least stalk her properly?! A single sighting and this whole thing is done for!

Just what the hell is wrong with her luck?!

"H-Hey... How does this look...?"

 _'Resuming game time.'_

Before anything goes awry, the ravenette pushes everything she was thinking about to the back of her mind and pastes the most genuine fake smile on her face.

Then, she stops.

Her body stops. Her mind stops. Perhaps even her soul stops.

Nepgear is holding the curtain open just enough to give her a view, the lilac-haired girl's cheeks a bright ruby by this point.

As Uni's face mirrors that color, she can see why. She can see it well. Perhaps too well.

 _Definitely too well._

 _"I... I feel like it'd be illegal to wear that outside."_

Yes.

Yes, it would be.

"P-Please stop staring..."

"That's a difficult request."

"E-Eh?"

"I said I'm very very sorry I grabbed the wrong thing you can change back now."

With those robotic words, with all the haste in the world, Uni tears the cover from Nepgear's grasp and obscures the room from view once again.

Her operational system resumes its work.

"..."

 _"..."_

"..."

 _"... You're going to dream about that one, aren't you?"_

God, she hopes so.

 _"Well, don't lose your mind over it. The day's almost over... but not just yet."_

Just like that, her mind is brought back to Gamindustri. The noise that comes out of her mouth can only be described as "that sound a person makes while playing 'I Wanna Be The Main Character.'"

In other words, pain and suffering.

 _'Did she **have** to remind me...?'_

* * *

Sunsets are romantic, aren't they? Those are staples of love stories, aren't they? The surroundings are always places like pretty beaches or beautiful grasslands, aren't they?

So can someone _please_ explain to Uni why she's currently watching it from the _gray rooftop of some department store_ , leaning against the black railing preventing her from effortlessly throwing herself off the building like she really wants to?

 _"Um... I'm really sorry. I couldn't just drive away all those people."_

Right. She knows _why_ she's here.

Because a bunch of _idiots_ , all ungodly bad at hiding, practically cut off all the exits, accidentally or not.

Oh, they're going to pay. They all are.

Uni's still a bit surprised that even _5pb._ was there in disguise, but that doesn't really matter. They all screwed this up for her, and no idol status is going to work as a shield when she gets her hands on—

"This really is a nice sight," Nepgear suddenly breathes out besides the ravenette, both hands on the railing as she stares at the sight before her like it's a piece of fine art. "Goodness, maybe I should watch the sunset more times."

"..."

For a moment, Uni finds herself just staring at the beautiful girl besides her, all thoughts of bloody revenge momentarily forgotten.

She wants to marry someone who looks at her like that.

 _She wants Nepgear to look at her like that._

 _'... Right. As if that'd happen any time soon.'_

With the other girl's sight away from her in more than one sense, the ravenette's expression turns sour.

This whole thing was a bust. Just how many relationship points did Uni manage to gather? It's a round number, that's for sure.

Letting out a soft sigh, the girl lets her sight fall, towards the department store's big logo and the streets beneath. Seriously, this atmosphere isn't romantic at all...

...!

"Hey, Nepgear..." Uni begins casually, looking at the distant sunset even as lilac eyes turn to her. "The sun sure is beautiful today, huh. I thought K-Sha was hyping it, but turns out she was right."

By the edge of her vision, the ravenette can see the object of her affections blinking, as if confused by the comment, before shooting her a warm smile. "I—"

 ***bzzzzt* *bzzzzt***

"—Eh?"

Puzzled, Nepgear looks down towards her lower body. Realization crosses her face soon after, followed by an apologetic glance towards her fellow Candidate. "Ah, sorry. That was my N-Gear."

"Don't worry about it." Uni simply smiles at her, waving dismissively. "You should probably check it."

"I guess..." Bashfully, the girl reaches down to the device, holstered on her right thigh. Taking hold of it, she brings the N-Gear to her face.

A few presses later, confusion crosses Nepgear's face as she reads. It's not much longer until she turns to the ravenette, disappointed. "Looks like Noire wanted to talk to my sister about a deal, but since Histoire is busy and Neptune can't go out before doing all the paperwork..."

It doesn't take a genius to realize how the Planeptunian Candidate is connected to that.

"... Man, what a bad timing." Uni sighs, pushing herself away from the railing. Even so, she still smiles at the other girl. "I still have some stuff I want to check out around here, but you shouldn't keep Noire waiting for too long, though. She won't stop complaining if you do."

"Yeah, I can see that happening." Nepgear lets out an embarrassed laugh, the sound far more pleasing than it should be for the ravenette's ears. "But, goodness, I'm really sorry for cutting this short. See you next week?"

"I don't see why not," Uni replies, her lips parting into a small grin. "I mean, we've been at this for a while. Sunday is pretty much Gearday for me by now."

The lilac-haired girl's response is only the sweetest giggle the Lastationite Candidate has heard all month. "Yes, that's so true... Um, until next time, then!"

With a wave of her hand that the ravenette returns, Nepgear seemingly forgets that she can fly and takes off towards the metallic double doors leading to the stairs. Scarlet eyes follow her until the moment she pushes the doors open and goes on her way, disappearing from sight.

And that's the end of it.

"..."

Annoyance replaces what once was cheeriness, just in time for Uni to groan.

She couldn't even turn this romantic for a single second; in the end, this was just a particularly eventful friendly outing.

Then there was that issue with the stalking... and Uni knows of only one person connected to Nepgear who'd be able to turn this supposed date into spicy gossip.

Honestly, there was no hope for the best end. Not unless the ravenette just up and confessed her undying love in front of nearly everybody she knew.

 _She's not brave enough for that._

Good thing she's working with the one person who manages Noire's schedule.

 _"I know you're shy and all, but I can't say I expected you to say the code like that. At least not so soon."_

"Recognizing a lost cause might as well be my specialty by this point, and that sure looked like one. Thanks for coming up with that, by the way." Leaning forward with her elbows on the railing, the girl takes from her inventory a box of pocky she bought earlier. "Besides, at least I'll be on her mind like this. Better than running into someone else and dividing her attention."

 _"That's... quite a way to see it."_

"Hey, as long as it works." Shrugging, Uni flips the box open with her thumb, eyeing the contents.

 _"I'm not saying it's bad, little sister. Heck, I'm taking notes later. I just think it's kinda weird to see you giving up like this."_

"I had my reasons." Bringing the box to her mouth, the ravenette takes a single pocky with her teeth. "Anyway, show's over. You can go home now if you want; my sister would probably enjoy the company. Even if she says otherwise."

 _"... Your words give me much more hope than you might realize. I think I'll be doing just that. Be home before dinner, okay?"_

"Yes, yes..." Uni replies dismissively, earning herself an amused chuckle from the other girl. A short "beep" afterwards signals the end of long-range conversations for the day.

The spectacle finally comes to an end, just in time for the sun far away to disappear in the horizon, leaving behind a dark night illuminated by the city's lights.

That's that, then.

...

...

...

A chuckle sounds.

"I wonder where K-Sha was watching from. Maybe it was just a bad angle... I mean, she's not the kind of person who'd miss something like this."

Uni looks downwards, towards the shadowed spot hidden behind the department store's big logo.

Purple Heart eyes her back from just a meter away, the stone-faced CPU looking as if she's staring into the abyss itself.

 _Good._

"Say, since Nepgear's gone, why don't we hang out a bit? I have a great subject in mind for a conversation."

She smiles sweetly like an angel, and bites off the pocky like a demon.

 _ **"Since you love talking so much."**_


	9. Forget cleanup day, jam in a shootout

**•How to _Not_ Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•**

* * *

 **9)** **Forget cleanup day, jam in a shootout.**

Emergency Quests.

Special missions which usually end up in the Guild's bulletin boards at the most unexpected times, offering unusual rewards for equally unusual tasks.

Despite their name, it's not as if volunteers undertake massive operations to bring down God-level threats. Rather, the contents of such missions are usually somewhat simple, such as guarding convoys or seeking strange materials.

Still, they pay considerably more than normal quests, and also tend to accept far more volunteers than the usual "exterminate X monsters" requests. As if that wasn't enough, more often than not these kinds of missions give away tiered rewards depending on contribution, reason enough to have entire hordes of Hunters rushing to sign up.

What ensues in such cases, needless to say, is nothing short of pure chaos.

An impromptu gold rush.

First come, first served.

Friendly fire enabled.

Hardcore Ranked match.

No items, Hunters only, Final Destination.

In other words, it's a massive battlefield, where glory is forever miles away while failure creeps centimeters behind, just waiting to claim any fool who lets their guard down.

Incidentally, it's also fun as hell to participate in a PvP war for once, as opposed to fighting monsters and gathering herbs all day.

Nothing is more liberating than throwing yourself into the mayhem, after all. And the fact that there are lots of unspoken rules—such as the aforementioned "no items," coupled with "no skills," an obviously important "no explosive attacks," a necessary "don't hit anyone with less than 50% HP" and the complimentary "run the hell out when you have less than 50% HP"—essentially turns it into nothing more than a big war game instead of tragedy waiting to happen.

That Hunters are nothing if not serious about their unspoken rules also helps; acting out of line is a great way to paint a target on your back and a black mark in your curriculum.

Still, no amount of embellishment can change the truth: no matter what the goal is in an Emergency Quest, you _will_ be attacked by fellow Hunters, more dangerous than any mindless enemy; you _will_ have to fight back, pushing both your body and mind to beyond their limits; and, at the end of the day, you _will_ be either long gone, achieving nothing but a meager consolation prize, or standing proud, having bested even the most cunning and dangerous of your adversaries.

It might be a war game, but the first word in that term is not just for show.

Currently, that's the sort of the situation one can find at Virtua Forest, under the cloudless sky of Sunday, approximately 10 AM.

Today, a considerable number of Hunters from all over the continent gathered to search for a recently formed dimensional dungeon, detected by Planeptune's sensors and emitting enough readings to make anyone drool just thinking about the possible loot. After discovering the entrance and sharing it online with everyone else—another rule created out of basic courtesy—the second phase begins, which means getting in and hoping to the True Goddess there aren't too many Risky Foes guarding the shiny stuff.

In theory, that is.

In practice, bolts and flames fly to all directions, metal hits metal as shadows dance between and above trees alike, and magical songs fill the air as all sorts of people unleash their specialties at once in a cacophony of destruction, unwilling to let anyone else grab the spoils before themselves.

It's fun for the whole family, basically.

And, as the battle rages, Uni finds herself atop a particularly large and tall tree, perched on the edge of a branch as thick as a sidewalk and aiming with her newly bought dark, sleek and somewhat blocky sniper rifle, an holographic screen of a scope displaying what the camera under the barrel's end sees in the distance.

Money well spent, if anyone asks her... despite the shameful state of her savings.

The ravenette wanted to hold off on expensive things until the money wasted on weeks ago on that robot came back, she really did. But when Passe offers a hefty discount for anyone who pre-orders their newest state-of-the-art weaponry...

Well, there's only so much a girl's self-control can take.

 ***VWEEN***

With a distinct noise and surprisingly rough recoil, a red orb the size of a grape flies away with the arousing speed of 1300 m/s, hitting some hooded, violet-skinned elf girl right on the forehead just as she attempted to sneak up on a brunette—

Oh, that's IF, funny seeing her here. Weirdly enough, the elf seemed familiar too...

...Eh, must not be that important if the memory didn't stick.

 ***ta* *ta* *ta***

As soon as she spots a blue light coming from a bush, Uni doesn't hesitate to fall to the side, her shoulder touching wood as the shots sail past.

 _"Hey, chickenhead, stop camping!"_

"It's a legitimate strategy!"

With that truthful shout, the ravenette scrambles to her feet and runs along the branch towards the trunk, ducking and dodging as many bullets as magical projectiles and bladed weapons—that was _definitely_ a 32-Bit Megablade, and _someone_ is gonna pay for it—before hopping to another adjacent branch, placing the tree between herself and her attackers.

Although not exactly winded, Uni still takes a few quick breaths as she presses her back against the trunk, feeling the vibrations that follow each impact.

Were this an actual fight, the girl would likely be giving away curses like candy during Halloween.

Here, though, she can only smile at what she just pulled off.

This... is the best way to relieve stress.

Ever.

... Still, as great it'd feel to use up her stress wasting thermal clips all day long, Uni has a second, much more important objective here than unleashing the hell inside her lonely, single heart.

 _'Now, which direction was it...?'_

Without a care in the world for the outrageous amounts of enemies coming for her, the girls raises the scope to her eye and begins to scour the forest for signs of her target. Fortunately, the trees don't block much of the view from the tall branch where she finds herself.

As luck would have it, the ravenette spots a certain lilac-haired girl in mere seconds. She's running through bushes and clearings, N-Gear in one hand and a laser sword in the other, and waving her head around in search for something.

One would need to be an idiot not to realize she's looking for the dungeon, even amidst the chaos of competition.

That in itself is amazing, of course. Pretty much everybody else is just sort of hoping someone stumbles upon it before they're eliminated, at which point they'll all rush for the loot and the exponentially higher rewards attached to them.

Instead of holding that sort of absentminded mentality, Nepgear is diligently seeking their objective, even using her N-Gear's sensors constantly.

Unlike her, most people just peek at their devices then and again before rushing to the rumble like crazed barbarians looking for a fight, Uni's own growing desire to do just that notwithstanding.

It's like they're all playing Hot and Cold, and the Planeptunian Candidate is the only one taking it seriously.

The thought makes Uni chuckle. That's her girl.

... Well, her future girl.

 _'If she keeps going in that direction, taking in consideration the distance between us, then...!_ '

Running the math in her head, Uni throws her sniper rifle aside as it dematerializes back to her inventory and brings out a fancy revolver instead, its similar dark and sleek look—save for its cylinder, obviously—revealing it as part of the same series as the previous weapon.

Who said the sniper was the only one included in the deal?

Smirking to herself, the girl doesn't hesitate to shoot forward, jumping off the tree and hitting the grass in a crouch with a heavy thump.

Today, Uni joins the hunt.

"Who the flying— _Lady Uni_?!"

She aims to the right and pulls the trigger without looking.

A yelp and a loud explosion sound as her entire arm rocks from the recoil, her aim raising full sixty degrees from that alone as the cylinder spins ninety degrees. The ravenette springs to action immediately after, scrambling to her feet and running off towards Nepgear's direction.

Her arm feels a bit sore from the test fire, but _damn_ if that didn't feel amazing.

Shotgun energy blasts from a revolver. Can't get much better than that.

However, she mustn't lose sight of her goal.

As the thought comes, scarlet eyes sharpen, actively searching for any disturbance that may trouble her amidst the trees, grass, and circuit-like glowing marks present in several surfaces.

While it certainly crossed her mind, Uni isn't here for the ongoing battle royale. If she manages to get a good amount of money, that's great, but the treasure she seeks is far better.

Namely, Nepgear.

 _More specifically, Lily Points with her._

The girl has to hold back her imagination at that, unwilling to daydream about their beautiful future together right. There's a time and place for everything, and "imagining married life" doesn't exactly mesh well with "running through a battlefield."

Besides, she'll have time to think about what's to come after this is over.

At that, her smile widens. That's right... Even if Uni doesn't manage to actually cross the finish line today, she'll still have farmed a nice amount of points!

Nepgear, being the beautiful, dreamy and sensible person she is, tends to participate in all Emergency Quests she can, essentially giving the ravenette a constant to work with in a sea of variables. Also, since her future wife isn't one to fight for the sake of it, she instead focuses on the goal, only making use of her weapon to protect herself!

And that's so mature, _so responsible_ , it makes Uni feel like forgetting about restraint _and throwing herself—_

 ***rustle***

"!"

On reflex, the girl takes half a second to feel whether the person in the bush next to her has a safe amount of health, and the other half to discharge another shot as she runs by, and the surprised shout that follows is incredibly pleasing.

The same can't be said for the slight pain in her arm, but, eh, sacrifices.

In any case, this chance is simply too good to miss...!

How cruel it is that Nepgear is alone on her quest, scurrying about in such a dangerous place without the will to unleash her beast and fight! Fortunately, Uni, being as diligent and caring as she is, has no qualms against putting herself on the line to accompany and protect the fair lady who one day shall become her bride!

Well, it's not as romantic as that, but the point stands. Were she to accompany the object of her affections in such a place, _not_ bonding over fighting off attackers and seeking a hidden treasure is borderline impossible!

"Oh, what a coincidence to meet you here" is what she'll begin with, and then it'll go from there! Depending on how this goes, they might even _hold hands_ before the day is over!

Of course, one might ask why the ravenette didn't just head out with Nepgear in the first place—in fact, that's exactly what K-Sha asked—but showing up to help during a difficult and dangerous mission is far more impactful than just being a generic starting party member.

It's all about drama, and Uni isn't willing to miss out on a multiplier for her points!

That's her decision, she's sticking with it, and nothing can stop her.

It's with such a mindset that, as soon as some armored guy she can't be bothered to pay attention to walks into her line of sight, another shell is used up, and the cylinder rotates again.

Uni grins at the feeling of EXP merging with her mana, raising her capabilities ever so slightly.

That the person she shot flew five whole meters back also brings a rather nice feeling.

Unfortunately, that leaves her with only one of four shells still live inside the cylinder. Call her sentimental, but it sort of feels like her last shot before the first reload should be used in an important way...

"Argh, lookie there, matey! A mini ol' Nowa, searching for my Nepsis' boot—"

 ***BOOM***

... There.

Ignoring the loud protests from the fallen CPU she left behind, Uni brings up her gun and maintains it as still as possible as she dematerializes the shells back to her inventory, summoning four more straight into the cylinder.

Should someone mess up the coordinates when bringing out the live ammo, it'd still show up in the correct spot, but with an added force as if someone was pushing the casing a bit too hard against its confines towards the spot where it tried to appear.

Obviously, that leads to an entire world of problems; as such, summon feeding is a rather advanced trick.

 _'Good thing I can pull it off with my eyes closed.'_

With the weapon once again loaded, the ravenette continues to trudge tirelessly through the forest, aiming at any noise in her way.

Just a bit more and she'll reach Nepgear—

Something splits the air behind her.

Uni has barely enough time to throw herself to the ground, the momentum sending her rolling several meters further.

As soon as she comes to a stop, the ravenette doesn't waste a moment to think before scrambling to her feet, raising her revolver with both hands towards the prideful voice from before.

It doesn't take a moment for Uni to analyze the situation.

She's in the middle of a small clearing, surrounded by trees and shadowed by their leaves above. In the trunk directly behind her is a wooden stake, large enough to be called a natural weapon, that suddenly disperses in green particles.

And by the edge of the clearing, calmly walking towards her, is the smiling CPU of Leanbox, looking as unsettlingly cheerful as she can possibly manage.

Uni scowls.

Of course, she doesn't lower her weapon.

"Mind explaining what you think you're doing?"

"My, so feisty!" The woman halts ten feet away, folding both arms under her sizable chest. Just like that, a condescending look crosses her face. "I could ask you the same thing, little girl."

"That," Uni snarls, "is approximately zero percent your business."

If she were to see her right now, being so openly hostile to a full-fledged CPU despite being only a Candidate, Kei would surely have a fit.

But there's no other way.

This person's goal is far too obvious.

"Gosh, you needn't be so mad," Vert begins, her smile only widening. "After all, we're all friends here."

"You shot a spear at me!" the ravenette snaps back.

"It was a lance."

"That doesn't make it any better!"

Uni grits her teeth. The number of curses in sounding in her mind is outright scandalous. Out of all interruptions, why the worst case...?!

"Strange, I expected you to be happier to see me. After all..." Out of nowhere, the woman's smile becomes outright haunting.

" _You never went out of your way to deal with me._ "

"..."

The Candidate gulps, taking a step back.

Now that she thinks about it, that was certainly an oversight.

A _big_ oversight, at that.

Even so, she forces a smirk to her lips, hiding the fear taking root in her heart. "I just thought I'd be done with this fast, or at least before you managed to pause your game and unglue your face from the computer you love so much. Can you blame me?"

Vert actually chuckles at that, shooting the ravenette an amused expression. "Oh, Uni, how so very like you."

Her smile dies.

" ** _MMOs cannot pause._** "

"!"

Uni nearly gasps.

It happens out of nowhere.

The atmosphere grows heavy, as if withering under the woman's gaze. Frost creeps up Uni's spine, her body threatening to shiver.

A cold sweatdrop slides down her face, its descent a perfect analogy to her hopes of succeeding today.

This isn't good. This _really_ isn't good...

But...!

"I won't let you stand in my way!" the Lastationite Candidate declares, tightening her grip on the revolver. "Someone as twisted and corrupted as you can't be allowed near Nepgear!"

"'Twisted'? 'Corrupted'?" Vert laughs, shaking her head at the mere notion. "You really can't understand, can you?"

She takes a step forward, prompting Uni to step away.

"You must understand, I have none of these filthy traits you list! After all..."

With a vigor that doesn't match her ladylike persona, the blonde rotates her hips so her side faces the girl, arms still crossed and bearing radiant smiled filled with pride.

"My heart and actions are utterly unclouded!"

Unfolding her arms, she moves a fist to her heart, closing her eyes.

"Yes, that is correct... My heart... My actions... Even my dreams...!"

In a maneuver that'd make Nisa proud, Vert's eyes snap open as she thrusts an open palm towards the ravenette, her other hand finding its way to her waist.

"They are those of **_sisterly affection_**!"

...

...

...

After a moment, Uni raises an eyebrow, frowning.

"Chika would cry if she heard that."

"That is irrelevant."

"I think Blanc is laughing from wherever she is."

"No relation to this situation."

"Noire wouldn't even know what to say."

"Must I repeat myself?" The woman huffs, folding her arms once more and adjusting her pose into something normal. "That aside, you seem to misunderstanding me. I am not strictly against your wishes, you see..."

"Hmhm." The ravenette nods twice, thoroughly unconvinced.

"But it'd be quite troublesome to convert that girl into my little sister if she already has another strong, non-familial bond beforehand," she explains rather simply in a friendly tone, as if begging Uni to understand. "Therefore, as happy as I would be to see your cruiser set sail, this shall be as far as you go for the time being."

Vert smiles.

"Go home."

"No."

The answer is instantaneous, as is the destruction of the friendly atmosphere.

As the Candidate maintains her glare, the CPU's lips twitch.

A sigh sounds.

"You are simply unaware of your limits, are you not?" Vert laments, shaking her head. "I tire of watching your inane advances. Believe it or not, my original plan was to be generous and allow you to kindle the flames before roasting my marshmallows on them."

Uni just stares at the blonde, whose arms are crossed as if to accentuate her chest.

Did she just...

"... That might have been a poor choice of words," the blonde bashfully admits, her cheeks gaining a light tint of red. "Still, I am quite serious when I say that I magnanimously granted you a chance. As things stand, it'd be far easier to force you out of my way, but I fear my heart is too kind for such an act. Thus..."

With all the grace of a savior addressing an ignorant mortal, the CPU of Leanbox extends a hand, reaching out to the girl before her.

"If your wish to act now rather than wait is so strong, then join me, and together we shall rule Nepgear as her big sister and lover!"

As expected, that has Uni raising an eyebrow. "Um..."

"Individually, I mean," the woman quickly adds. "Anything else would invite conflict with our personalities. I believe it to be rather obvious who's who in that arrangement."

"Yeah, no."

Just then, Verts lets out a joyful huff. "I knew you'd see reason. You were always the most reasonable of them—"

She pauses.

Three seconds later, her expression turns blank.

"Eh?"

"I won't lie, that does sound pretty nice." The ravenette shrugs, still holding onto her raised weapon. "Except, y'know, I'd need to trust you before even thinking about it. Which I don't."

She lets a smirk cross her lips.

"Obviously."

"..."

For the several moments that follow, Vert simply gapes at her, as if disbelieving that anyone would deny her gracious—and also "totally safe with no risks of betrayal™"—offer.

Incidentally, that also means it's time to scram.

"Okay, since we're clear on that," Uni begins, taking a step back, "I'm a bit late for an appointment with love, and it'd be a shame to miss it. Here's hoping I don't see you again so soon." With that, she turns around and runs off, sure that the blonde won't try anything funny in her confused state—

Two seconds later, the ravenette blinks. She's lying on the grass.

Her face hurts.

Climbing to her feet, the girl slowly reaches outward with her newly free hand. Rather than air, it meets...

... an invisible wall?

"Hehehe..." Vert's voice sounds. "Hahahahaha..."

Uni turns to face the CPU, now bearing a rather unladylike grin against her own shocked stare.

Well.

Shit.

"You didn't think I would be so careless as to allow you a way out, did you?" the woman speaks, each word containing as much pride and outright _superiority_ as the last one.

And the worst part?

The ravenette really _had_ thought just that.

"Wouldn't you agree that the Internep is simply great?" Vert begins, sounding beyond pleased with herself. "You can find all sorts of items to buy! From new weapons to fashionable clothes and..."

She chuckles.

"... portable boundary fields that only require plastering runes around to set up."

This time, Uni's cursing isn't only inwards.

 _She underestimated this person._

"So that was your angle, huh," the ravenette growls, once again raising her revolver towards her enemy despite the uselessness of such an act. "Your goal wasn't to 'convince me' to step down... Instead, all this stupidity was just to make sure this second-rate barrier actually worked...! And now that it did, you're free to leave me stuck here while you go find Nepgear!"

How didn't she see it?! That they were just conversing should have been incredibly suspicious, and yet she turned a blind eye to it as if such a thing was a given!

What's the height of stupidity? Why, Uni's own 149 cm, of course!

At the accurate accusation, Vert's grin recedes into a smirk, threatening to part for a chuckle. With an arm supporting her chest, she brings up the other hand to cover her amused mouth, looking at the little girl in front of her as if a deity staring down its worthless creations.

Each movement only serves to heighten her superiority over Uni, that's as clear as day...!

And then she looks away.

"In retrospect, I really should have done that."

"... Ah?"

In a single instant, all nervousness evaporates from the ravenette's entire being.

Uni can only stare.

And stare.

Now that she's paying attention, it's easy to see something rippling behind the CPU, no doubt one of the edges of the barrier.

Behind Vert. Except there's also an invisible wall behind the Candidate.

As in, the woman's also in the boundary field.

Inside her own trap.

"..."

The girl's aim actually wavers.

"Was trapping yourself part of your plan?"

"I actually planned on defeating you and heading out," comes Vert's casual response.

And, in a way, it's incredible. _Amazing_ , really.

 _She overestimated this person!_

"Well, thanks for the tip," is what the ravenette responds with, if only because saying anything pertaining this woman's ineptitude might turn into a long and time-wasting rant. "That means you can break this thing from the inside, right?"

The CPU actually smiles at that. "Why, indeed! However, you'll never..."

She trailed off.

Uni blinks.

 _Why did she trail off?_

"... It's gone," Vert states flatly, turning towards the roots of a nearby tree.

"Huh?"

"The switch rune I placed inside the field," she specifies. "It's gone."

"Huh?"

"It just disappeared."

"Huh?"

"As if someone snatched it."

"Huh?"

"Then again, I might or might not have forgotten to check whether the adhesive was in a good state."

"Huh?"

"This shall certainly cause difficulties when it comes to escaping this barrier."

"Huh?"

...

...

...

After a long moment of silence, Vert raises a hand, her expression solemn. Then, directing her eyes towards Uni...

She boops her head, shooting a wink at the Candidate.

"I'm so clumsy, aren't I~?"

Uni's trigger finger twitches.

 _ **"Huh?"**_

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

"So," K-Sha begins, arms crossed and a rather unamused look on her face as she eyes the two crestfallen females seated on one of the somewhat crowded Guild's metal tables. "You were trapped for a full hour before remembering that phones are things, and by the time I got there to get you out the Quest was pretty much over."

"Indeed." Vert nods from her cushioned seat, idly playing with her locks whilst staring at nothing with the emptiest expression the schoolgirl has ever seen. "In retrospect, perhaps I should have spent more time in the planning phase."

"In my defense," Uni speaks up casually, her head rising from its hiding spot against the table between her folded arms, "I was too busy trying to shoot that moron over ther to think about calling home."

K-Sha simply raises an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to improve my opinion of you?"

The Candidate just shrugs, because what else can she do?

At least she got a thousand credits for just being there, so that's something. Nevermind how the better rewards would have rescued her savings from the abyss.

Perhaps Uni should get a part-time job for an actual income besides allowance...? Actually, is she even allowed to do that?

Now there's a question.

"Hm? You guys were there too?" a familiar, approaching voice suddenly speaks up. "It's a bit unusual to see you together."

As the three girls glance at the direction it came from, Uni isn't particularly surprised to see Nepgear dodging the crowd and heading towards them; she always had this ability to show up whenever the ravenette's feeling down.

Sometimes it feels more like a curse than a blessing, though.

Like now.

Even so, as soon as the lilac-haired girl stops by their table, Uni forces a smile to her face, prompting the other two to follow her lead. "Yeah, I kinda wanted some extra credits from the reward. Then I ran into Vert and ended up stuck with her."

Technically speaking, there's not a single lie in there.

"Currency is universally important, and there is strength in numbers," Vert follows up in a sagely tone that almost makes the Lastationite Candidate choke. "Is it truly that surprising to find me here with some company?"

As expected of the Leanboxian CPU, she said two truths and a question that actually don't even scratch the truth of the matter...!

It seems Uni still has a lot to learn.

"You two..." Unsurprisingly, K-Sha lets out a big sigh, bringing a hand to her face. "Incredible. Not even my dear Noire would be able to keep herself together after such a failure. It's almost like you're _happy_ with the lowest reward."

"Er..." "..."

At this point, the pair can only hang their heads in shame.

When she puts it like that...

"W-Well," Nepgear begins, with that bashful "I'm fully aware that you messed up but allow me to comfort you" smile that makes the other Candidate feel like fading from existence, "you can't always win...?"

No, but you _can_ always lose.

At least that's the conclusion Uni feels herself approaching.

"Oh..." Of course, the lilac-haired girl instantly notices the sudden mood drop. "I-I mean, failure is just another step to success?" she tries. "Tomorrow is another day? Keep your head raised? Learn from your mistakes? Believe in the you that believes in—"

"That would be a good point to stop at." K-Sha's lips twinge slightly upwards, something between embarrassment and amusement crossing her features. "I think you're making my bosses there suffer some leakage issues."

"O-O-Of course not!" Vert responds in record time with a tone that strangely resembles whining.

She proceeds to wipe her eyes with a sleeve.

"How pathetic... Shouldn't you act like a CPU?" Uni taunts the woman, leaning a bit too forward against the table.

The noise that comes a moment later sounds suspiciously similar to a sniffle.

Nepgear's smile only grows more constrained at that. "I-I see..." Thanks to her unmatched experience with weird people, however, the girl rebounds in an instant, her expression growing far more natural, if only a tad too apologetic. "Anyway, I'd love to hang out a bit more, but I sort of have an appointment soon... I better get going right now, actually."

"An appointment?" The Lastationite Candidate raises an eyebrow. "It's Sunday, though."

"Yes, well..." Nepgear scratches her reddening cheek, clearly embarrassed about something. "I ran into Rom during the quest, you see..."

Uni suddenly perks up, followed by Vert doing the same.

K-Sha just seems to be on the verge of sighing again.

"One thing led to another, and I might have promised to show her some new candy stores in Planeptune, hahaha..." The girl lowers her hands, twiddling her index fingers as if to ward off the uneasiness. "I do want to invite you guys, but I don't think she'd be happy if I turned it into a caravan, so, um... Sorry?"

"... I see," Uni speaks after a moment, sounding strangely steely as she folds her arms. "Have fun there."

"Indeed." Vert joins both hands in front of her face, looking unusually serious... or just plain shocked. "Enjoy your time with her."

"Y-You don't need to look so down for being left out..." Nepgear tilts her head at them, definitely coming to the wrong conclusion. "We _can_ hang out together afterwards, just... not today, I guess?"

Oh, if only that didn't hurt enough as is.

"Don't mind them, they're too busy sticking themselves in mud." K-Sha smiles radiantly at the lilac-haired girl. "Just go have fun while it's still Sunday. Oh, and send me some addresses later!"

"Yes, of course! We could even go there next time!" In a moment, the Planeptunian Candidate slips into the role of a fellow schoolgirl a bit too easily, as though to match her usual outfit. She seems to notice it soon enough, though, coughing in her hand with a blatant blush. "I-In any case, I should be going now! See you guys later!"

"See you~!" "Take care." "B-Bye!"

It's rather obvious who said what.

With that, Uni's elusive future wife waves at them before turning away, seemingly in a hurry as she makes her way to the room's exit.

"..." "..."

Unsurprisingly, two pairs of eyes continue to stare at her a bit too intently.

"Seriously?" As the schoolgirl turns back to the table, her earlier cheer seems to be long gone. "She's going to eat _candy_ with the materialized idealization of a little sister, and you're _jealous_? Now that's just plain paranoia, you know?"

Neither of her current companions responds.

"Oh, for fu—"

"Shhhhh!" Uni raises a finger, signaling silence. "I think I can see her."

"That does seem to be the case, yes." Vert nods.

Rolling her eyes in resignation, K-Sha follows their lines of sight. Indeed, the crowds parted in such a way as to allow full view of the Loweean Candidate near the large doorway just as Nepgear reaches her. They exchange a few casual, decidedly non-romantic words—the sort that has the schoolgirl groaning when the other two start _seething_ —before heading together to the exit, standing a few centimeters apart but not engaging in anything startling like hand-holding.

Uni blinks, while Vert simply looks pleasantly surprised.

Maybe there's really nothing to it.

Just then, Rom seems to catch sight of their watching, turning towards the table with a curious look.

"See?" K-Sha speaks up, sending a smile to the Loweean Candidate. "I told you—"

She smirks.

The schoolgirl's voice dies in her throat.

Out of nowhere, Rom _smirks—_ the gesture startlingly natural in a face so similar to Blanc's—and proceeds to reach for Nepgear's hand.

A single line sounds in Uni's mind, far too recent to be forgotten.

* * *

 _"As if someone snatched it."_

* * *

And then, those two are gone, disappeared amidst the crowds.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Seconds pass, and then a full minute.

Some ranting adventurer nearby, retelling an overly embellished version of his exploits, is taken by the flow and stomps on the floor.

That's the trigger.

K-Sha manages to choke on nothing and starts coughing violently. Whatever Vert says next sounds more like a thoroughly broken whistle.

As for Uni?

 **"▅▅** ▃▃▂▂ **..."**

 ***bang***

As her head hits the table, s _he just stops thinking._

If anything, that's better than the alternatives.


End file.
